Loyalty Or Honour (Book 3)

Chapter Three

"Not for the first years of my life. My father thought he would get away with pretending I was one of his legitimate children. The servants knew but they remained silent when in my presence. It was not until I reached seven that I overheard a conversation I should not have." Hunter pauses wondering why he is being so open about something that had been so painful for him and had changed the course of his life. He looks sideways at Orion who waits with a patient and serious demeanour. "It does not truly matter." Hunter finishes.

Orion scoffs. "I may not have wished to ever meet you but now that I have." He struggles for his next words. "We are brothers and we should get to know one another. I told you yesterday that we are more similar than you know. I could prove myself right or you could prove me wrong. We can only know if we trust one another with our stories."

"I overheard some maids gossiping about my dark looks and how they were obviously from my mother." Hunter scratches his jaw. "Lady Claire is brunette but not dark and her eyes are not like mine. Hers are green where mine are blue. As a child I did not resemble any of my brothers. They were all much lighter than me, from hair colour to eyes. I stopped to listen." Hunter clears his throat, his brows drawing together. "They spoke of a Khiara, kept saying how it was a shame that she had to leave me behind."

"Surely as a child you would have just dismissed it as foolish maids." Orion speaks, trying to ease the tension by teasing Hunter. It does not have the desired effect. Hunter gazes blankly out at the landscape, clearly back there in that memory.

"She tried her hardest but there was always something different in the way she treated me compared to the others. That moment made it all make sense but I had to check. I went to my oldest brother, Bronco. He is ten years older than I and so he remembered Khiara bringing me into the manor and her leaving without me. I asked him and he told me the truth."

"I assume you went straight to your father?"

"A normal child would have." A sad smile tweaks at Hunter's lips. "I kept quiet as did Bronco. He regretted telling me. I listened in to my father's conversations with Lady Claire and I heard more that I should never have heard. She hated raising a child that came from another woman. She hated pretending. She hated the idea that if anything happened to her true sons I would be responsible for the Usani lands. She hated that my father kept me when he should have sent me away."

"You heard all of that?" Orion asks quietly, greatly subdued and feeling something akin to pity for his brother.

"They argued most evenings when we all meant to be in bed. I did not make it easy for them. Even before I knew I would fight and argue with my older brothers, I would set out traps to scare people and I held a manipulative spirit that none of them were able to understand. She was adamant that it came from the woman who birthed me. She was sure I would destroy their family from the inside and she did not withhold her opinion from him."

"Did your father care for you?" Orion tries changing the subject from the woman who obviously struggled to accept Hunter as one of her own.

"In his own way perhaps. He never treated me differently from my brothers and he refused to send me away. I think he regretted his decision though. He already had four healthy sons; there was no need to keep hold of me."

"When did you tell him?"

"You are older than me, so where were you when she was expecting with me?" Hunter turns it around, his eyes focusing back again on reality. Orion smiles, knowing that Hunter has given more than his share of information and that he will not continue until the favour is returned.

"You were planned, on her side anyway." Orion starts. "I, however, was not. My father was nobody, no future and no chance of obtaining one. She did not wish to be stuck with him, she still wished for your father. As soon as she gave birth she left me with him and travelled to the Usani lands where she eventually obtained you. She did not foresee that she would fail and have to give you up. Having to give up one child reminded her that she did not wish to live without both and so she returned for me. She stayed with my father for a few years, making money by making clothes and selling little cakes. The moment she had enough she left him with me."

"You do not paint a good picture of her character. How do you know so much?"

"When I reached adulthood she told me everything. She did not wish for anything I knew of her to be a lie. She made mistakes and she has paid the price for them. She is not the same woman she was back then and I forgive her for everything she did concerning me." Orion replies with warmth in his voice. Hunter wonders if he will ever speak of the woman who birthed him with such affection.

"She confessed all to you." Hunter nods slowly. Both again slow their horses as they seem to have caught up a little to the others during their conversation.

"She met the man I call my father now. He made her a better person and she settled and had a few more children. She wanted to go back for you but he will not allow her to. He said if you wished to know her you would find her. She should not force herself back into your life. She listened to him."

"I told my father after three months that I knew. He did not even try to convince me that I wrong. I told him that I did not wish to live a lie. Soon it became known throughout the lands that I was illegitimate. I moved out of the manor into the attic above the stables. My choice. I started training with the warriors and Lady Claire never had to pretend again that she was my mother."

"Did your brothers treat you different?"

"No. Well, they closed ranks around me. As far as they were concerned I was their little brother and I needed watching and being protected. I could not forget though that I was not one of them."

"I was angry when I found out she left to have another child, you." Orion reveals. "Foolishly I was angry with you and not with her. I loved my mother so I blamed it all on you. I hated you for a while. I was an adult and I hated the idea that you were out there and that you had taken my mother away from me in the first few years of my life. When that faded I still did not want to ever meet you. I imagined a perfect, rosy life for you in the Usani Manor. I see now that I was wrong. I would hate to feel as if I did not belong. My, our, mother never made me feel that way."