Prologue

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Introduction;

My name is Julia. My birthday is on December 27 and I'm nineteen years old. I'm not blonde, my hair is black, straight and layered. My eyes are in the middle of gray and black. The thing I love about myself is that I'm unique. What I do for a living is singing. I let my feelings flow with it. I get the inspiration of singing from many singers. It's like they know my life better than me. Personally, I haven't had a boyfriend. No one's loved me, just my friends and family. They're possibly the only ones I care about. I may sound like the shy, dull and goth-like person, but I'm not.

Honestly, the only one I tell my secrets to is my best friend, who coincidentally is a boy. Ever since he's become famous with 4 other boys, which I really wouldn't doubt. He was really talented with his voice and acting. I was realised he was in a group that recently broke a world record. He's becoming my idol now - I wouldn't believe it either. People wouldn't believe I was Louis Tomlinson's best friend earlier. Unless they did, they wanted proof. It annoyed me, since I've been getting these things everyday. Figures, if you were a boy/girl, and your best friend was the opposite gender, a while later you would've fallen for them. Now, he's in the most loved boy band of the 20th century, and he's the girls' heartthrob. So obviously, I've fallen hard for him again, and now I'm part of his army. His looks changed, his personality on those video diaries. I like to think that he knows me personally, and I'm the one who has the shoulder which he can cry on.

It's every girls' dream right? Let me tell you this - you're wrong. You always have this feeling where you feel like you're the last one to know a secret. That's what happened to me. You think I'm overreacting, but there's a lot of secrets he hasn't told me. I've nearly told him all my secrets in the book. And here, he doesn't give a warning to me he's leaving. My feelings ain't going nowhere. No way they are. It's impossible.

I just don't get how I could feel this again. Not what after he did to me. I still have another feeling though. Not that feeling, but jealousy. Jealousy occurs here and there, especially if the love of your 'life' is with another girl.

"Before you go away, so far away, I really need you to know. Baby, it's not just you, you know it hurts me too. Watching you leave with tears on your sleeve, don't you notice that mine aren't exactly dry? Baby, it's not just you that's hurting... it's me too."

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