You feel lost when you think about love and you know that you're still not ready although you wanna be in love and you wanna be loved by someone so much. You know that you wanna look in to someone's eyes and say that you love him/her. Your love is over pouring from your heart but you don't know whom to seek for and you can't love anyone yet.
True that shit breaks you in to billion pieces and your heart aches and it is numb, your mind is still fucked up and you don't even know what to do and you don't even feel it. You just live for the day and you just fake a smile and force a laugh just to make others happy because sometimes their happiness depends on you, your friends and family will look up to and they are happy because you're happy.
You don't want them to know how broken you are. "I'm fine" that's all you say because sometimes you don't wanna open up. You want this pain to burn you, crush you in to bits, fuck with your mind more and more because you think it will heal you one day.
If you're broken deep because of a guy or a girl this is for you. You know you wanna be happy but you still don't wanan let go. You think that someday they'll miss you and come back, some do but some don't. Those who come back they value you and they love you for who you are and they wanna be around you but those who don't they simply don't give a shit about you and they think they're better off without you. I know it really hurts when you even think about this because you're still in love with them and you still care about them. You thought he/she is the one for you but unfortunately no.
You take sometime off and think what you really want. Your heart says "You have been through enough and it's time for you to move on. They are not gonna come back. It is hard for me just to keep holding whenever you tell me to. I know it hurts and i too ache with pain whenever you think of him/her. Darling just move on. You don't deserve this". But your mind tell you to keep on trying and your mind is fucking with you.
When a guy asks you out, you wanna move on and start something but then you question, "Am I really ready? No you're not" and you shut yourself from this chance of moving on. You are scared that he/she will hurt you too. You know you wanna be loved and appreciated but deep down there you know you're not ready yet, and you wanna wait till the right time comes.
