Incarnadine

Chapter 21

He was silent. I thought he wouldn't answer me—it wasn't even as much a question as it was a statement.

Then he said, "I failed you. You took more than one bullets for me. I've failed protecting you. Three times now. I had to be the one to end him. But that, too, I failed."

I sat up straighter and moved to reach him, not caring about the sheets. "Duane—"

"Get some rest, Elena." He planted a kiss on my forehead then. "I love you."

I want you, I remembered he had said. I'll always want you.

"I—"

But he already slipped out of the room.

Three days later almost everything was back to normal.

Almost.

After knowing what Nick truly was, I became warier around him. Jamie had a huge fight with him, because all she knew was that Nick had disappeared on her without any news and suddenly showed up saying that he wouldn't be able to see the sun anymore.

Yes, he told her he was a vampire. I believed I heard her shout at him, "This is not an episode of Supernatural, Nicky! I don't see any Winchesters on hunt here!"

And he said, "You think I don't know that? You're the fan of that stupid show with some gay brothers and cheesy creatures with cool car, not me!" Or something around that. It must have been a shock to Jamie, who'd always thought that Nick watched Supernatural with her because he liked it, too, not because he put up with that for her.

"They're not gay! And they're not cheesy—vampire, you say? That's cheesier. What are you going to say now, that you're related to Dracula."

"Well, I am!" Which was true, ironically.

They went on another fight about twisting truths. Their voice went all the way to my room, and they were downstairs at the time. I really couldn't believe Nick would yell like that, nor could I believe Jamie would, too. Nick was usually the reserved, cold glare type.

But I guess any people—er, vampires? Supernatural creatures?—eventually would crack under pressure, too, after all we had been through. For once, Nick had actually made me feel better, letting me know that I wasn't the only one who hadn't wanted this to happen so soon.

He hadn't wanted to turn into a full vampire yet.

I hadn't wanted to be a kitsune and kill people.

But yet here we were.

Nick had eventually settled the matter by taking Jamie to Mr. Cadwell and forced him to admit the truth about Vigil, the supernatural community, and everything else except about me. It was by my request that they didn't reveal that part to her, because I wanted to be the one who broke the news to her.

It was a dark night. Never mind that it was midnight, but ever since my sense of sight had been heightened, I saw everything differently. The texture of everything. The miniscule droplets that formed the clouds.

"So," I prompted, fingering the think chain around my neck. Yesterday morning I'd found the Sessho-seki on my dresser. Duane must have left it, as a way to say his goodbye to me. "I'm not going to turn into a fox every full moon?"

"Not unless you want to join the wolves. It's all on your choice."

"So I can morph into a fox right now?"

"You can, but you won't. First, because you're fully-clothed—you don't want your ripped clothes tangled in your ears or your muzzle. Second, I bet you still can't summon up your fox form in control. Remember what happened when you were not in control."