Love, Bitterly Sweet

Chapter Four

Long grasses whip across my fur, dirt packs beneath my paws. I’m running through the woods behind my house. I zigzag through the bramble, jump over the small stream, crawl under the long forgotten fence.

I need to think, to clear my head, to wrap it around the fact that Max is half-werewolf. 

I completely ignore the trees and wildflowers that I normally love to take note of as I run faster and faster away from my house, my problems, everything.

Max is my mate. Max is half-werewolf. Max doesn’t recognize me.

How did this happen? What does this mean? Do I tell him? Can I tell him? What if he doesn’t care?

Ugh. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think anymore. My brain is too full of things I never knew about werewolves, about mates, about myself. I never thought I would be the type of person to run away from my problems. But here I am, doing just that again. I couldn’t even fully explain to my parents what happened today. I think I managed to string some words together before I bolted out the kitchen door.

I finally get to my destination and plop down in the middle of a meadow, my meadow, wheezing. My legs feel like jelly, my heart is thumping in my chest. And it’s not just from running. It’s from realizing that I suddenly have no idea what to do, how to proceed. All I’ve thought about these past few years is finding my mate within the pack so that I wouldn’t have to leave. Now that I’ve found him, I don’t know how to react.

But I do know that I can’t keep running from the truth. Max is my mate. We belong together. I just have to steel up my nerves and fight for him, something I never thought I would have to do. I have to convince him that we belong together, since he obviously isn’t aware of that fact.

But how? How do I approach him? It’s not like I can go up to him and say, “Hey Max, I know you can’t tell, but I’m your mate. Since we’re meant for each other, you should just accept it and love me even though I’ve done nothing to make you want to. Oh, and by the way, I can’t stop staring at you and looking at you makes me so hot I just want to strip down and get horizontal with you.”

Yea – I definitely can’t say that. Although I’m sure as a guy, he probably wouldn’t mind that last part.

I roll over onto my back and stare up at the rapidly darkening sky. It’s too early to see the stars, but all around me, there are signs that the day is coming to a close. The birds have stopped singing, the wind has died down, and the animals are all settling in for the night. Another day has come and gone. Another day that would have been like any other except I met my mate – a life-changing experience in and of itself without all of the additional complications.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m going to tell him. Tomorrow will be the beginning of my new life, a new adventure.

Resolved, I get up and head back home. I owe my parents an explanation after bolting on them and I have a feeling that they’ll be able to give me some advice. If not advice, then definitely comfort and strength to approach Max.

I shift back into my human form and grab my clothes from where I stashed them behind a large oak tree. Dressing quickly, I make my way through the backyard and into the kitchen. My parents are both sitting at the table, waiting for me. They look anxious, but I know they’ll wait until I’m ready to talk. 

I take a deep breath to steady myself and I realize that I’m suddenly eager to get this off my chest, eager to tell them about Max. Although he hasn’t been a secret for very long, the idea of him – the idea of finding my mate – has been. And I now want them to know. I was foolish for keeping it from them for this long. Even though they’re my parents, they’re also probably the closest confidantes that I have, besides Dylan. I need for them to understand me, all of me, and for them to know Max.