Incarnadine

Chapter 16

Suddenly I could breathe again. I opened my eyes, gasping hard. Duane's face hovered over me. He was soaked with water, and some drops clung to his face like tears.

"You are wet," I had rasped in English. He had taught me some of it, in return of my perfecting his written Japanese.

Duane let out a strangled laugh. "I am wet? If only you can take a look at yourself!" There was an odd look in his face I had never seen before. It made the wolf look almost vulnerable. But before I could comment on it, he had pulled me tight against him, wrapping me in the warmth of his arms. "Don't," he whispered in my ear, "ever do that again."

And then he kissed me on the lips.

And the dream ended.

Years of my life with him, flashes of my childhood memories that I thought didn't exist, the bitter times I'd had as the scorned orphan, the man who had raised me in the burned house, Duane—I knew all that when I woke up this morning. It was Sunday. I'd thought of going to Armand's again to tell Duane, but my fingers found the pencil first, and some part of me was afraid of losing my grasp on the memories and forgot again.

I am Eiko. I didn't want to forget that. I didn't even know how I could ever forget that.

"Elena? Elena? Earth to Elena."

I blinked, brought back to present by Jamie's concerned face. "Not Elena," I said. "Eiko. Elena is just my temporary name."

I saw brief flash of expression crossing her face. "You're still convinced that guy Duane is your soul mate from the past, or whatever?"

Soul mate. "It's not even about him anymore." How could I even tell her that I grew up in Japan a just right post-WWII and had my first kiss in '60s?

"Elena..."

I smiled at Jamie and close my sketchbook. "You know what? I think I'd go with you and Nick, after all."

Because I couldn't tell you who I was. Who I'd been. Not yet.

Curfew was ten today, because we had school tomorrow. Jamie wanted to spend more time out, so we headed out at five. Which meant dinner outside Ollie's for us and a few hours of shift cut for me.

Nick arrived on time. He greeted Jamie with a passionate kiss and me with what must be a glare under the black sunglasses he wore.

And so hour one of my weekly third wheel trips began. It's no wonder, really, why Nick hated me so much.

First hour was spent driving around looking for dinner. Jamie hated eating at Ollie's. She said it made her feel so 'local'. She always found reasons to eat out, or even better, eat out with her parents. But Mr. and Mrs. Cadwell both liked to be 'local'.

I had no problem with Ollie's food—there were reasons the restaurant was almost always busy, after all—but Jamie never got tired of convincing me to try as many fast foods as she could stuff me.

So we ended up at McD's.

I bit into my extra large triple cheeseburger, averting my eyes from Jamie and Nick's seemingly intimate discussion. The taste was wonderful. Rich. Cheesy. Jamie had picked it for me, even though I'd insisted that it was too large for me.

"Don't be such a hypocrite," she'd shot back. "The only girl in the world who can stay skinny with all the stuffs you eat is only you."

Well, I've got fast metabolism. But she made it sound like I ate two persons' meal all the time.

I watched as a couple of guys went through the door. Not a lot of people in our town wanted to eat at McD's. Most of them just went through the drive-thru and eat their meals at home. These guys looked about our age, probably a bit older. In our small town, we almost knew everybody, with the few schools we had. Most people went to the same school.