I Draw Too

Chapter One: I Met A Boy

I knew a boy who liked to draw,
_

Ivan shivered in fear, his heart pounding as he listened to his blood rush in his ears as he stared down at the long cuts across his wrist. The teenaged boy held up his arm, watching as the blood ran down. It dripped against the tiles, resembling the sound of a calming rain. One so sad, and one so deadly, how it earned a smile from the large Russian boy would scare the world. Although at this moment, Ivan shook in fear. He stared at the blade in his hand, the red liquid covering it's edge as he watched the blood fall from his wrist to the floor. There will always be that moment when you cut too deep, and you'll fear the worse. Ivan slowly rose to his feet, balancing off the wall as he dropped the burgundy towel on top of the mess, picking up the blade as he held it up to his eye view. He turned to the wall, sliding it between the boards before turning back to his reflection. He stared at his pale skin, his dull beige hair framing his face and dark eyelashes. He opened the door, hiding in his scarf as he quickly crossed the kitchen. He passed the dining room, climbing the stairs. He looked to his left, staring at his sisters door. It stood open, revealing the small blonde girl laying in her bed. All tucked in while cuddling her teddy bear. Ivan smiled slightly, crossing into her bedroom before tucking her in quietly. He stared at the picture on the wall above her head, sighed sadly at the sight of himself with his sisters. His fake smile, pale skin, his slouched shoulders as he weakly held Natalya on his hip. Katyusha smiling brightly, her eyes unknowing of his story. Ivan turned, kissing her forehead before leaving the room. He shut the door tightly, looking at the metal watch used to cover his scars. It was only eleven thirty. Katyusha wasn't to be home for another hour from her night shift. He blinked slowly, staring down the hallway before making his way down it. Slowly, and quietly, he made his way down the stairs. The grandfather clock ticked as the seconds drew closer until his death. He pushed through the front door, cutting across the lawn and onto the sidewalk. His foot steps were quiet as cars slowly drove by, eyeing him curiously but only shrugging it off as if he were returning from a job or maybe even friend's. It might have been true, he could pass it off as such. Only if he had at least one of those. The Russian teenager crossed towards the dirt road, following it into the forest. The leaves of low hanging branches brushed against him as he continued on, pushing a few out of his way as he crossed into the clearing. Ivan stopped, staring down at the rushing river from his spot on the bank. He leaned forward, smiling as he got closer to the water.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, aru." he turned, facing a small male behind him. His long brown hair was brought into a side ponytail while is brown eyes bore into him. "It's not worth it."

"How would you know?"

"I lost a friend to suicide once." He informed him, grabbing his wrist gently as he tugged him away from the river. Ivan followed, watching as the brunette boy sat down. He patted the ground next to him, inviting Ivan to join. He sighed, sitting down next to him. "It's not worth it. My friend, well, he felt unloved. After being betrayed by his best friend, he couldn't help it. I tried helping him. I tried so hard. I never could do it. He hung himself in his bedroom. Everyone thought he was gone at a friend's, when really, he was in the same house as them. Dangling from his ceiling..." The boy looked up at the stars. The two sat silently, the sound of crickets filling the silence between them before Ivan spoke up once more.

"Why are you telling me this? I don't know you."

"It's best to tell people, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't know..." Ivan said sadly.

"What?"

"I wouldn't know what it's like to lose someone. I never had any friends or lovers. I still don't. Everyone is afraid of me..." He said sadly. He brought his knees up to his chest, burying his face in them. He looked up, focusing on the boy next to him.

"I'm not afraid of you."

"What?"

"I'm not afraid of you." He repeated, smiling down at the Russian. Ivan smiled sadly, eyeing him. He turned back to the river, biting his lip.

"Yao."

"Huh?"

"Yao. My name is Yao." He said, leaning his weight on his hands.

"I'm Ivan." Yao nodded, looking over at the larger male.

"What was your friend's name?"

"Huh?"

"Your friend. What was his name?" Ivan asked, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, well. His name was Alfred."

"Alfred... Jones?"

"Huh? You knew him...?" Yao looked at him, confusion conveyed on his face.

"He was in my chemistry class. He was nice to me." Ivan informed. "I didn't know..."

"No one does, Ivan. No one ever does."

'Nobody will ever truly understand what it's like... ever.'