Incarnadine

Chapter 4

I tried to keep my eyes ahead, on the whiteboard. It was hard. It was like he was the gravity of my periphery.

His eyes—check—the striking shade of gray. I swallowed. The contours of his face—check—the silhouette in my sketches. Those lips—check—couldn’t be any other than the ones that kissed me that night in the alley.

But it couldn’t be him. He didn’t even show a sign of acknowledgement, nevertheless recognition. Maybe he’s embarrassed that he’d mistaken me for someone else and kissed me in that alley. Or maybe he just did that all the time—kissing girls in the alley before he met them at school a few days later.

I could either die from curiosity or just confront the conundrum right beside me.

I chose the second.

“Hey,” I whispered to him.

He glanced my way, then turned his attention back to the whiteboard and copied some notes to his notebook.

God. I felt so stupid. The guy didn’t even nod or raise a brow. He dismissed me. Just like that.

My face burned, and I bit the insides of my cheeks.

I couldn’t get out of my seat fast enough when the bell rang. I didn’t even bother stopping by the lockers anymore. I found Jamie and Nick in the canteen, sitting in our usual table.

Jamie looked up at me. “Hey, what’s up with the running? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sure.” My arm was still bandaged, but I didn’t take the pain meds. It’s better to feel a throb in my arm than numbing it—it kept me knowing that I was alive and breathing.

I plopped down to the seat opposite her and sighed. “Jamie, I so stupid!’

Jamie touched my arm, concerned. “What’s wrong, Lena?”

“The guy—new guy, Duane? He’s the guy.”

“What—you’re not making any sense.”

“The guy! The guy in the alley.” I shot a look at Nick, who looked blissfully bored. I pulled Jamie and whispered to her ear, “That guy who kissed me. Remember?”

Jamie’s eyes widened. “No. Effing. Way.”

“It’s true. And he was in my class just now. Sat right beside me.”

“And? And what?”

“And he totally ignored me! Blew me off—”

“Like, ignore how?”

“—like, one glance at me, then Elena-doesn’t-exist-glance away.”

“The nerve!”

I sighed. “I feel so stupid.”

Jamie looked sympathetic. “Well,” she said optimistically, “at least now you know how to throw yourself at a guy.”

“Jamie!”

“You know, I heard he’s Armand’s second cousin or something. He’s a bit older. Doesn’t talk a lot—kinda an anti-social. Maybe the ignorant thing is just his way.”

“Anti-social, how? You said he’s Armand’s cousin.”

“I know, right? Armand is like friends with everyone—jocks, nerds, potters. This guy just comes with Armand, goes to class, goes home with Armand again.” She looked over my shoulder. “Hey,” she waved, “Ingrid!”

I slumped on the table. Ingrid pulled a chair beside me and sat. “What’s up, Sakura?”

I tilt my face up. “Sakura?”

“You know? The flower?”

“You’re calling me a flower?”

Jamie rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Ingrid. Elena is a bit behind with pop references.”

“Sakura isn’t even pop,” Ingrid said. “It’s a Japanese flower. Can be a female name, too. In Naruto, Sakura is the girl Naruto likes. At first, anyway.”

“Naruto?”

“You don’t read comics? Watch anime?”

I sighed. “Supernatural is the only show I watch, thanks to Jamie.”

Ingrid laughed. Behind her, I saw him coming.

My breath stuttered. He was heading right here. To our table. Duane’s strides were long and effective. There was an aura he radiated when he walked.

“Hey,” he said. To Ingrid.

“Oh, hi!” Ingrid said.

“I’ve done the whole report.” He handed a bunch of papers to her. “You can copy it. Please turn it in for me tomorrow. I’ll be absent.”

“Absent? Why?”

“Family business.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Thank you.”

He went away. Without even so much as glancing at me.

“Aww,” Jamie said, poking me teasingly. “Don’t be so miserable. He’s just a guy.”

“A very hot one,” Ingrid sighed.

I sank in even further into my hands, covering my face.

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