Chapter 1: Where the Fuck Am I?

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My face and my hair gently meets the wash from the sky. I am electrocuted by the rain as it tickles the nerves under the ridge of my eyebrows and on the tip of my nose. I wanted to be reborn by the sight of lightning, so I've refused the existence of my overworked mind somewhere behind this moment of sublime relief. In the very next moment, I acknowledge nothing, but the essence of my miserable being standing face to face with the grand heavens. It was never my decision to reach out and touch the sky by our fingertips, but it occurred anyway. I am forced to believe in this bond between nature and I. The company of the pouring rain filled up the depths of my soul where I truly reside. My home, in some wine glass, was tipped over and put back into place at the blink of an eye, and the backwash was a slap back into reality. I was standing in the midnight rain on a deserted country road.

My broken down car is still right in front of me, and I see my dead husband buckled up in the backseat.

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