On This Terrible, No Good For Nothing Day

What a colorless colorful world

I sit down on a hotel bed, looking around in the darkness...

It's been quite a while since that day

And everything has turned out quite ok. But there is only one thing nagging at me from the back of my mind as I close my eyes and remember the time.

I see myself stand there, fidgeting in front of the beauty who glanced at me as if I were an old friend.

A person who could be anything and everything they could ever want. 

The curiosity and nervousness was evident in her dark, beautiful chocolate eyes and even in her luscious lips and even in the way that she fiddled with her hands.Her hands clenched,  her hair a mess, but that doesn't matter. Those are just details that I seem to remember.

I sighed loudly as she once again, asked me if everything was ok. Which, everything was, but I was just... thinking.

I took time out of my day to write a poem for her the day before. A small poem, but it held meaning. A lot of meaning. Meaning that it would be read by her and that she would hopefully understand the feelings spilling out of my chest.

So as I handed her the poem, I glanced at her hands which were coming up to take the piece of paper. And everything I had done before that moment flashed in a second right before my eyes.

I saw myself walking down the halls at the age of 12, contemplating my existence like every other child does. An anxious and nervous child hidden within the crowd of other children. The crowd of all the people that would overshadow me and ignore me.

As I walked, everything changed, and I saw that same child smiling with another girl, holding hands and talking about the future. Things all of a sudden shifted... and that other girl was soon replaced with a black and white color. It enveloped me in a wave of depression that is—oh so hard to get rid of.

What did this mean? Who knows, but I know that a colorless world showed up in my nightmares and eventually, in my reality too.

But right now, the beauty that held the poem was not tinged in either black or white...

Color? What is this... color...? It's so pretty.

My thoughts were once again interrupted with a nod from her as the day where we could see each other ended before we parted ways.

And as I finally got home, I got a new message. 

I wonder...

The screen filled the room with light as the words printed on there were read in my mind, not one... not two... but many times.

"I finally got time to myself and I want to say that I love the poem. You shouldn't be nervous since I feel the same way."

I smiled widely, tears running down my cheeks at the words.

And as I look back on that day in the complete darkness of this room, I reach out to the beauty beside me and press her close to my heart, stroking her hair and smiling faintly into the darkness. As I do this, I begin to think.

I'm glad that I didn't do something different that day and that everything that has ever happened, happened for a reason. And now I know that what happened on that terrible day... that terrible, terrible no good for nothing day gave rise to this beautiful and gorgeous, magnificent day.

Thank you for being the color in my black and white world.