The sounds of the empty house echo through my ears. The pain over flowed through my body like a river raging against a dam. Tumbling to my knees; begging for the past and avoiding the future. Hating everything outside of this very room I hide in. While my room was silent everything outside was loud. Screaming on the top of their lungs, and throwing punches like bullets from a gun. The scars a crossed my body were proof. Proof that nothing beyond that very door is good. Proof that the outside is nothing but war.
The sun gleamed against my stain shattered window. Only through that little crack did the light come in. It's the only sliver of light I could see... I could touch. "I want to leave", my heart cried... but my brain said otherwise. Over thinking every little thing. I was so afraid of what could happen outside of that door. I have been out there once, and all I got was abused.
Fighting every day; I try to speak out. I try to break this disturbing silence with a small cry. I try and try, but all I got was a gasp of air. Tears run down my face. Racing to escape while I sit here tied with heavy chains. My body gave out on itself; gave up on me. The will of fighting that door, and fighting these chains wasn't enough. I was no where close to enough.. The battle within my head just gets worst day by fucking day. The more and more I try to break these chains; break these walls. I start to realize it will never happen. That every second I tried to break free was just a waste.
Nobody knows what is going on. Nobody fucking knows what is going on in this room. What is hiding behind this medal door. Torture, self torture every damn day. I beat myself down over and over again. I pull my hair and fuck up my skin. I cry without a sound. I cry, but NOBODY notices. How many times do I have to fuck snap or yell to try and show something is wrong. Just listen to me that is all I ask of you. Look into my eyes and see what is wrong with me. Look into my shattered eyes and see that I am dying... That I am suffering inside this fucking room.
Why won't you look at me..? Why do you just move on like you never noticed that you left me? You left me in this darkness, and I can no longer get out. It's swallowing me whole. Eating me alive. Taunting me over and over; until I grow in panic, and I can no longer breathe. Suffocating slowing while everybody around me laughs. While everybody doesn't notice that I am dying.
I feel like I am hanging there with a rope around my neck. Hanging there while everybody laughs and stares pointing. Pointing at some sort of entertainment. Am I show for you to watch? Is my only worth to you one-sided enjoyment? Am I nothing more than a shadow you pass? Am I nothing but wasted space to you? You left me with all of the damaging questions. And not once have you to the time to answer one...
