Club 18 -Stucky Au-

Of Course

Ivan and I were together up until the day of my twentieth birthday. I came home to our shared apartment a few hours early and I was going to surprise him.
I had been gifted lingerie from Jamie and I was wearing it under my clothes.

Well, him in bed with his co-worker who was "just a friend and nothing I should worry about" gave me the best present I could ever have.

Chronic depression.

My body involuntarily jumps and I'm tossed back into reality when he speaks again.

"Hey Steven how about we meet up for drinks? I need to talk to you."

"I- uhm.."

My breath catches in my throat, I swallow the lump and try to continue.
I can't believe how hard it is for me to speak.

"I dont think that's a good idea.. I've moved on Ivan.."

"What? Do you think I'm trying to get with you or something? Hah. No. I just simply want to talk."

He laughs again.
I can't tell what's so funny.

"I don't want to. I'm sorry."

My voice raised an octave. It made me sound weak and pleading.

Even though I am weak and pleading with him, I don't want him to know.

"Steven.. come on. For old times sake."

"Old times? OLD TIMES?!" I started yelling through my tears.

"OH YEAH LET'S DO THIS FOR OLD TIMES! LIKE FOR INSTANCE WHEN YOU CHEATED ON ME? THOSE WERE GREAT ... just great .." All my anger melted and I shrunk into myself, no longer able to support my body.

Silence.

"Steve I.. I never got to tell you how sorry I was. All I want to do is tell you how sorry I am. You were the best thing for me and I ruined it. Please.. please ma-.. meet up with me. " Ivan breathes heavily into the phone.

It's almost as if he crying.

I had never seen him cry in the four years we were together.

My door creaked open.

Bucky stood in the doorway, he was disheveled with sleep in his eyes and a worried expression.

"Why are you yelling? Is everything okay? "

My red and teary eyes meet his blue ones. They are dim with sleep but instantly change when he focuses on my face.

Bucky quickly walks over and squats in front of me.

"What's wrong Steve? Did something happen with your family?" He places his hand on my face and with his thumb wipes the tears that race down to my neck.

I shake my head no.

"Who's that? Is that who you've moved on with?" Ivan asks.

Throughout this entire phone call, it's like he's been mocking me.

"Steve why are you being like this? I just want to talk."

"I don't think it's a good idea Ivan. I'm really sorry."

"Please.."

Why won't he just leave me the fuck alone? Bucky's eyes looked so troubled. I couldnt stand it.

"Just leave me alone Ivan.. We aren't together anymore. I'd never get back together with you because you're a cheating piece of shit."

Bucky looks startled. He sits back on his butt in front of me and holds my free hand.