Why am I alive is a question commonly asked by man and some say there is no answer and others are still trying to find one. This story isn't about life, oh no, it's about death and the horrible ways people can die because what's better than people dying, if your answer was tons of stuff then you're most likely right but shoosh this is my damn stories and I can do what I like not shut up and continue reading.
Johns story is a rather grim one it all starts when he was born you see he was born on the 13th and that's unlucky for him but that's just old tales. It all started when he had took his first steps... Which were down the stairs unfortunately and his family got it all on tape, they got a three year old plummeting down the stairs at quite a high velocity. The second things which edged him closer to death was when he was becoming a teenager the big 13 that was the year he discovered on his birthday he was allergic the peanuts, how he had lived his life without eating peanuts is past me but his family decided, you know what lets get old John a peanut butter cake, I'm sure he'll love it, you can guess what happened and again his family got it all on tape, it was like a ballon being blown up but instead it was johns face. The last thing that killed him was when he was getting an interview he thought he would get lucky and y'know go on his birthday to get a brand-new job, he was fixing his tie when suddenly his hand slipped bam and the John is gone, died of suffocation.
Mary's story is an even grimmer one but this time I'll just kinda cut to the chase. Mary had always had an interest with meat production and she wanted to grow up and work as the manager of a beef factory well she got the job, loving it, doing a monthly checkup on the grinders, uh oh, she slips, you could say now she's, MINCE MEAT.
Here's just genuinely a sad story from Pete the good ol' fisher. He was going to HIS fishing spot, A spot he knew he could get all the fish he wanted but the thing is that it's in the middle of the lake on this little bit of island he would stand on, now you've got to remember this is a big lake and you would need an Olympic swimmer to get back to the shore from where Pete was and Pete was a small old man he couldn't swim for the life of him compared to an Olympic swimmer so he would take his little paddle boat out and moor it to this little island and he would be on his jolly way catching fish ,whistling and generally having a good time but one time the boat was blown away, now you try surviving just off fish for days and days and come back to me alive.
