3 Words... 8 Letters...

I've always wished for my very own story, my own love experience to write about. 

February 14, i pushed my pride aside and for once let my own feelings speak. I tried gathering enough courage to say it, but when the words where at the tip of my tongue my heart would accelerate and i was left speechless. All of his skepticism  and my doubts were hurting us. I couldn't let him leave without letting him know how i truly feel. That was the only answer i could offer to all his questions, hoping he'd understood my words. Before, i swore to myself i wouldn't be the first to say it. That would be a weak point he could take advantage of. I couldn't help but think of the many times he said is to others, but me, clueless. I also thought of the last time i said those 3 bittersweet words, 8 letters with such a powerful meaning. Only once in my life did i express this. He was a completely different story from Weston, incomparable in every aspect you can think of. He only crushed me, made me feel broken with disappointment.So there i sat, beside him, trying to form the letter on my lips. He stood up, ready to leave. My heart sank because  i wanted him to say it first. Although i had to be true to myself, what i felt was real. On top of every dispute we went through, i love him, for being himself. For the glow in his eyes whenever he smiles, the sweet taste of his kisses, our silly jokes, his strong arms wrapped around me, the way his hair gently falls on his forehead when he brushes it. That feeling i get inside my chest when i look at him, indescribable.

I hugged him tight, keeping him close to me. I couldnt let him leave, not yet. I stood onfront of him, and i made up my mind. As i looked into his eyes, while he was making another silly joke, the words just escaped my lips, and i could hear myself saying "i love you". During those few seconds that time seemed to have never existed. I wasn't sure if my heart's beating was so fast that i couldn't feel it or if it just stopped beating. I froze and i felt tears in my eyes, because i knew i meant it. I just had turned in my world, my soul, my love to him, As easy as flipping a coin.  I didn't know who this person was, i was someone else watching from a distance.

Everything changed when he looked back at me and said "i love you too Sabrina" . Although i didn't believe it, as much as i wanted to, i couldn't, i had already given him my everything. My head was spinning and my knees where weak ( Ive often heard this expression in movies and read in books, but never thought ill actually feel it) and i couldn't help but ask "really?" he brushed my cheeks and with his hands and with a soft, warm voice he responded "yes" . We just stood there, holding each other. Neither of us wanting to say goodbye, as if it was the last time. 

My thoughts and fears haven't changed at all. I still feel insecure about his feelings and i still fear for the future. But the one thing that will always remain the same, no matter how many times i try denying it or fight it, is that I'm truly in love with him. Every time ill look into his eyes, my heart will whisper with each beating ...I love you.