My Book of Funny Quotes

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I love reading funny quotes, especially when my day sucks. I thought of making a collection of these quotes so people could enjoy them as well.

I won't be citing them unless I know where they originated from, so most of these won't have an 'author.' I will also add 'chapters' every time I get more to add.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy these as much as I have!

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Amateours built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

Flying is just throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

If it wasn't for physics and law enforement, I'd be unstoppable.

Sectum Sempra. Latin for 'Sadistic Bastard'

After twelve years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to me eyes. He said, "No hablos ingles."

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

SAVE THE EARTH! (its the only planet with chocolate)

Nope, I cant go to hell. Satan still has that restraining order against me

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

Best Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public

Rawr. I'm a sparkly vampire. Fear my glitter.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at someone.

I'm a demigod ......so THERE!

My best friends are crazy, but so am I

I love boys. They're so stupid

I wish music played during epic moments in my life

Maybe I'm weird, but you're BORING

Good girls are just... bad girls that dont get caught

When life gives you lemons..... throw them back and yell "I WANT CHOCOLATE!!"

आप प्रकाशित भागों के अंत तक पहुँच चुके हैं।

⏰ पिछला अद्यतन: Feb 16, 2012 ⏰

नए भागों की सूचना पाने के लिए इस कहानी को अपनी लाइब्रेरी में जोड़ें!

My Book of Funny Quotesजहाँ कहानियाँ रहती हैं। अभी खोजें