⚘ Synesthesia ⚘

Chapter 8 ⚘

"I didn't mean it in a bad way." Ryder defended himself. "I just wanted to make sure that you don't have to go through what you did-"

"I know." Avery interrupted, chewing on his lip.

"Good." Ryder said. Avery remained quiet, and Ryder made no move to speak. Avery started to feel a dark green with hints of grey.

The relationship seemed different between him and his best friend ever since the their whole argument, which Avery hated. He didn't like the awkward silences or the thick atmospheres. Without Ryder the voices would definitely become stronger, and Avery couldn't handle that. Not again.

"He's not home yet." Ryder said, sounding relieved. Avery looked up to see the house which he hated. It was giving the same black feeling as usual, which was really no surprise.

"You shouldn't have to be worried about if your dad is home or not." Avery said. Ryder just gave a shrug.

"And you shouldn't have to deal with half the stuff you do." He said. "God is cruel."

Avery frowned. He didn't want to believe that God wasn't on his side, but from the looks of it, God didn't seem like a very nice being. That was, if he even existed.

"Hey, Ryder?" Avery asked. Even he noticed how hesitant his voice was. He wasn't sure where this new idea came from, but he had to ask. "What if you just didn't go back?" Ryder turned to face his friend.

"Avery," He began. Avery held up a hand.

"No, wait. Hear me out." Avery said. Ryder shut his mouth and waited for Avery to continue. Avery was a little nervous to even be suggesting what he was about to, but he hated seeing his best friend hurt.

"Just come to my house." Avery said. "Who said you have to go back?" He asked. Ryder sighed.

"Avery, he's going to find me. He always does." Ryder said. Although Ryder did his best to remain emotionless, Avery knew better. He could see right past the blank face his friend was sporting. Ryder was scared of going with Avery. He was fearful of the consequences.

Now Avery wasn't quite sure what it was like to have a dad present, but if this is what they were like, he wanted no part of it. What Avery did know however, was that Ryder was terrified. And seeing his friend experience such an emotion- to such an extent, made Avery feel a very dark color. It was a mixture of purple and black. Kind of like the nighttime, when Avery would over think and imagine such traumatizing scenarios that he would almost cry.

"Please." Avery said. He normally never begged, but for some reason he felt even more nervous for his friend. It wasn't the sinking feeling that he was familiar with, it was more urgent. He needed to get Ryder out of there or something awful was going to happen. He wasn't sure what, but he knew something bad was going to occur, and Ryder couldn't be around for that.

Avery wasn't sure where this feeling came from, but it was here now, and it was extremely overpowering. Ryder closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No."

"Ryder, please. I have a bad feeling."

"You always have a bad feeling." Ryder retorted.

"What does that mean?" Avery asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It means that I'm not going home with you."

Avery stood still for a moment. He was trying to create an excuse to get Ryder to come with him, but his mind was blank.

"What are you still doing here?" Ryder asked. Avery tilted his head.

"Ryder, come on. Don't do this." Avery pleaded. "Please." Ryder just clenched his jaw.

"Go away Avery."

"You don't mean that-"

"I do." Ryder spoke, his voice low. "Go away."

Avery squinted his eyes. "Why are you being a jerk?" Avery asked. Ryder put his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry Avery."

"It's okay-" Ryder cut his friend off.

"Look, I'm still staying here. So please just go." Ryder said. Avery took a step back, but made no move to go home. "Go." Ryder repeated.

"No."

"Just go Avery!" Ryder yelled. "Go away! I want to be alone." He added softer. Avery set his lips into a straight line.

"You can't do that." Avery said. "You're not safe here."

"So I can't be left alone, but you can ignore me for weeks?" Ryder asked. Avery wanted to give a good response but he didn't have one. He couldn't argue against what Ryder had said because it was true. His mouth kept opening and closing like a fish out of water. He felt like one too. He was having trouble breathing and he desperately wanted to go back to his pond. He wanted to feel safe again.

"You just stop talking to me for days and days on end!" Ryder continued. "You just leave sometimes and I don't know why! You just go away and I never know what I did!" Ryder's voice was louder now, and his eyes were glistening with tears that had yet to fall.

"Ryder I-"

"No." Ryder's voice was a lot more venomous than before. He stopped for a moment before turning his head and asking, "You know who you remind me of?" Ryder asked, not waiting for an answer. "My dad."

Oh.

There was a long pause before Avery was able to speak again. "Your... dad?" Avery asked. His voice was strained and the wind seemed to be knocked out of him. All around Avery there was black and the smell of oil was everywhere. He desperately searched Ryder's eyes for some hint of remorse or guilt, but he couldn't find any.

Ryder wasn't sorry.

"You both just leave." Ryder shook his head. "And then you come back only to leave again!" Ryder threw his hands in the air.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Why don't you just leave now Avery?" The blue haired boy interrupted. "It'll save you the trouble later." Ryder shook his head before looking up at the sky, trying to control his breathing and tears. When Avery made no attempt to go, Ryder repeated himself, "Please just go."

Avery just gave a shaky breath and turned around. What more could he do? Ryder was practically begging him to go. What other option was there? Something told him to stay, to try and help Ryder, but for once Avery ignored the voices in his head.

"Okay." Avery spoke, his voice soft. "I'll leave."