When Worlds Conclude - WWC3

26; Notes, towel drops, and face oil

"Yup," he says. "That'll do it."

I pick my towel back up and grab my things and run out of the bathroom, internally screaming. Why. Why did this shit always happen to me?

I'm sure that was more than Chris thought he'd see this morning. 

I quickly get dressed, always looking down the hall even though I can hear the shower running and know that Chris is in there. But I'm still petrified. I then head for the kitchen and help myself to one of the bagels Niall approved. I'm just sitting at the table eating my bagel and sipping my orange juice when Chris walks in. We're both fully dressed this time.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey," I reply awkwardly.

He gets out a bowl and a box of Wheaties and pours some in. It's very silent apart from the sound of cereal hitting the bowl. 

"So, uh, you know Niall has work right?" Chris asks me after a while.

I look up. "Oh, yeah. He left me a note."

Chris looks confused. "A note?"

"Yeah, he said he'll be back at 5."

"You're staying until 5?"

I look at him a bit weird. "Uh, yes? For a few days ..."

Chris shoves a spoonful of Wheaties into his mouth and leans against the counter. "You his girlfriend or something?"

I almost choke on my bagel. "Oh my god, no. No, I'm his friend. I'm from London, we went to school together. I ... he didn't tell you?"

Chris shrugs, seeming completely unfazed as to who I am. "Oh, he didn't tell me anything."

Niall didn't even mention to his flatmate that I'd be staying here for a few days? Honestly, guys were some other kind of species.

"Is it okay?" I ask. "I mean, that I'm staying here?"

He shrugs again. "Doesn't matter to me." He walks back around the counter and puts his bowl in the sink. "Your body isn't exactly a bad thing to see in the morning." His lips turn into a playful smirk.

I blush again. "I'm so sorry about that."

"Don't be," he says quickly, and I can see he's avoiding looking at me. "It, was, uh, like I said ... nice."

I don't know what to say to that so I just look down at my plate to hide my smile. 

"Anyway, I should get going," Chris says, checking the clock that hangs above the oven. "You gonna be okay?"

I nod. "I'll be great. Enjoy your day and uh, sorry about this morning. Again."

Chris just smiles, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. "It was nice to meet you. Violet was it?"

I nod.

"I'll see you later." Then with one last smile he's out the door.

-------

"Hi, do you guys sell moisturising face oil?"

Dublin was so much prettier in the day when the sun was shining and it was still cold, but a little warmer. I had a chance to really take it all in, the scenery of castles and old buildings and all the friendly faces that seemed to just open up to you no matter who you were. Being here I could see why Niall was the way that he was, and why he had chosen to come back here. 

A shop clerk at a local beauty store shows me to the appropriate aisle and I try and find the same brand that was on Niall's vanity. Eventually I find it and make my way back to the counter.

"How are yer?" The woman asks, scanning my item. 

"Great, and you?"

"Been busy," she responds. "Twenty five pound. There's a weddin', had a whole group in this mornin'."

"Oh, sounds lovely."

"You married?"

I almost fall backwards. "What? Me? N-No."

"Have a fella?"

"Uh, no."

"My fella proposed to me just last week." She shows me the ring on her finger and grins.

"Oh, congratulations." I didn't really know what else to say, considering I had no idea who this woman was. 

"Thank yer, thank yer. Anyway, here." She hands me my bag and I thank her. "Have a lovely day!"

"You too, thank you."

I walk out of the store and find myself walking around until I come to a stop at a park. Sitting down on a bench I watch all the people around me, the couples walking hand in hand, the man walking a dog, the women jogging, the kids throwing a ball around. Strangely, it makes me think of home. And not London, the country club. Home when I was a child.

I think about my dad and just now it hits me that he's gone, that I'm never going to see him again. We never had the greatest relationship but I still can't really picture a life without him. Without having someone to live up to, without having someone to make proud, or disappoint. A father to just be there. Sure, he hardly was there, but the idea of him still was. Now it's like there's just nothing.

I keep thinking that I should feel sadder than I do, but maybe I've just had enough. Enough sadness to last me an entire lifetime. I've cried more than I should have and I've felt more pain that I could handle, and now I'm just dry and empty. My father's absence is not gut wrenching to me, it's not painful or unbearable, it's just hollow. And I will feel it, I know I will, forever, but I can live with it. And I'm okay with that.

And I find myself smiling right there as I sit on the park bench, because I had finally made it to the point where I can look around at everything, think about everything that's ever happened in my life, and I can make peace with it. I smile because how cool is it to be able to say I made a lot of things happen for myself, and that shit has happened but I can be okay with it. Because I was. I had finally realised that courses of action did not have to define me anymore, that broken things did not mean that I was in fact broken too. That things would happen as they often do but I'd be okay with it. 

I'm okay with it.

absolutely awful to hear about Louis' mum, how terrible!! :(