I'm so excited to be sharing this sneak peek of my upcoming book, I DON'T BELONG TO YOU: Quiet the Noise and Find Your Voice! I want my fans to be the first to read it, so every Friday for the next four weeks, I'm going to give you a brand new excer...
This is where the good girl vs. bad girl myth comes into play. Despite (or maybe because of) my past and the anxiety surrounding it, I felt pressure to be a "good girl." It's the same pressure many of us have felt. Nobody says the bad girl is the one you want to marry, so we all want to be the good girl.
When I was fifteen, my boyfriend tried to get me to have sex with him in a movie theater. He was putting so much pressure on me, and I wanted to cry because I was so worried that if the cameras would catch what he was trying to do, True Jackson and her lost virginity would be all over the news the next day. #TMZNIGHTMARES.
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I really thought about my private feelings and public image a lot, and I struggled with how my fans saw me versus how I saw myself. Even at seventeen I thought, Who am I if I'm not Keke the Virgin anymore? #MENTALBONDAGE. When I did lose my virginity, I thought the whole world would host a block party in honor of Keke the Freeeeeeak!!
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But after wrestling with all my experiences, I have accepted them as they were and moved forward. My being glad or not glad they happened didn't make it any less a reality nor did it make it good or bad. Only I could really decide if a situation was good to me or bad to me.
Why did I beat myself up so much? at didn't make it any better! And there aren't just two ways of being a woman, aka you're either a good girl or a bad girl, a prude or a sluuuut, gay or straight, and on and on . . . Sexuality, personality, and even identity fall on a spectrum, and you are who you are in the MOMENT and nothing more. #MENTALBONDAGEREMOVED.
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As human beings we should always be growing and changing and expanding, and after really giving serious consideration to that thought, I can honestly say I don't think either the good girl or the bad girl really exists, not in the way I used to think anyway.
We can all be different versions of ourselves at different points of our lives. #YAASSS. And this "good/bad" discussion isn't just limited to women. Guys face a lot of pressure to behave a certain way, particularly when it comes to sex and sexual identity as well! Yes, I think the media can seem more critical of women because I feel that on a more personal level, but guys are often forced to live up to certain expectations as well. #KEEPINITAHUNNID!
Thanks for reading, and come back next Friday for another all-new excerpt! Visit my site here to preorder I DON'T BELONG TO YOU and to find out where I'll be appearing next!
