Recalling Reality

Chapter 5

I vaguely recall that. I remember he said that I wasn't being any fun, and he came over and sat on me. As for laughing or anything about it, I wouldn't know.

I do feel different inside. Like some kind of weight has lifted off my shoulders. As for why, I am assuming whatever he did to me helped.

"We ordered out and had some pizza, and we sat on the deck for a few hours last night. Probably had way too much to drink. But, it was good to see you laugh." His smile slowly fades as his eyes focus on mine, the blues being back to their vibrant, catching color.

I should look away, but I can't. I am taken in by the strong forces that don't want me to turn away. His body leans a little closer to mine. I gulp in some air and my heart starts beating a little harder this time. And I keep hold of his eyes. He begins to say something, but pulls back and puts his phone away.

"Breakfast is ready, and then you should head next door to get ready for the zoo." He steps back, his eyes beginning to fill with sadness as they connect with another photo on the wall.

I follow him into the kitchen where the long island counter has a couple plates filled with scrambled eggs, bacon, and fresh hash browns. Taking a seat at the smaller of the two servings, I glance over at him, and he seems lost. The woman in the photo must have died for him to get that sad, that quick. And I can't ask him in case if he told me last night.

The silence is thick, and I catch him glancing my way every so often. My heart responds, and a smile comes to my face. The warmth creeps up and settles into my cheeks.

"Busy today?" I manage to spit out in between the bites of the eggs that are seasoned and very delicious, for being just scrambled eggs and something so simple.

"I have plans for a couple hours." Holding up a strip of bacon, he turns to me. The silence fills in as our eyes lock again.

For once, I am unsure what to say or what to do. When he doesn't move the bacon, I lean in and take a bite of it. A smile sweeps across his face, and he is leaning in closer to me. When he is just inches from me, my heart picks up speed and there are butterflies fluttering around in my belly. My eyes don't know whether to focus on his eyes or his beautiful lips, so they bounce back and forth. Waiting. Hoping.

Riiinnnnnggggg...

His eyes open wide, and he pulls back before any contact is made. My butterflies stop instantly and drop back into hiding. My heart slows and disappointment slaps it around. Taking the chance, I shove my mouth full of hash browns, and the flavor explodes on my tongue. Closing my eyes, I savor the bite. I've had hash browns before, but these ... these taste like heaven, and have a smoky touch to them. Nothing even close to what fancy restaurants served up.

After finishing my breakfast, I help clean up and head over to Taylor's to find my mom and three nephews waiting for me. Passing on the shower, I change into a pair of jean shorts and a red t-shirt, scrub my teeth, run a brush through my scraggly curls, and head out to the car.

Mom gets to about the Milwaukee line when I finally ask about Shane.

"He is a good person, Hannah. He went through some very tough times and he needed people to be there for him." She glances in the rear-view mirror at the three who are catching a little nap from the sun and the motion of the vehicle. "He needed a family, and I couldn't let him struggle alone."

"Was he a drug addict?"

"No." Her eyes leave the interstate for a moment, glancing at me with her brow cocked. "What makes you think that?"

"I was just asking. He's not Quinn's lover, and he enjoyed... He's an alcoholic." That would explain the drinking last night.

"No. He's not. He likes to have a couple drinks here and there, but he's not dependent on it."

I study her. Her cheekbones are dusted with the lightest shade of pink, and her makeup is impeccable to where I can barely notice she's wearing any. The grey eyes are glancing to the mirror and back to the road, and she changes lanes to get in line for the upcoming exit.

If Shane has an issue, and managed to talk to her about it, I would never know. Not unless it came from Shane. Mom is solid, a lockbox, and secrets are kept with her. I would never pry out any information from her.

"He is getting a better grasp on everything, and, for once, I don't have to worry about him."

I rest back in the seat and close my eyes, wishing to recall some of the night.

"Do you have a bathroom?" I ask, after four beers. I am ready to explode, but I don't want to stop talking with him.

"Nope. They built this house and didn't put one in." Shane's face is solid; no hint of joking or a smile. Stone. I meet his gaze, and he finally breaks. "Yes. Inside. Go to the hall; two doors down."

"Are you going to murder me?"

"Yes, but not tonight."

Nodding, I push myself up from the wooden chair. My heart is pounding. "Okay."

"What are you laughing about?" Mom asks, and pulls me from the memory.

I open my eyes, and, to my surprise, we are already parked at the zoo parking lot and the boys are all unbuckled, raring to go. "Nothing."

I wasn't murdered, but, then again, I wasn't worried about it either. Shane is getting under my skin, and I need someone like him to pull me out of this serious funk I'm in.