Psyche and Metaphysic

PSYCHE AND METAPHYSIC

by Charlie Kenmore

1

"If 'to be' means the same as 'to stand in relations,' then further inquiry arises: partly, What are the relations, to stand in which constitutes for things their 'being'? Partly also, What are the Things, which as subjects enter into the relations?"

Herman Lotze, "Metaphysic", 1841 (as translated by George T. Ladd, 1884)

~*~

It is true, dear Cousin. I was summoned to the Deacon's study. Certainly I was most curious, but I assure you, I had no reason to suspect that I was in any kind of trouble. However, when I arrived, I was not alone. That awful Mrs. Tomkins and her pet Prefect Priscilla Andrews were already seated. I approached the last remaining chair and attempted to seat myself, but was ordered quite peremptorily to remain standing.

"You will take no action unless expressly directed to do so. Is that clearly understood, Ms. Ginn?"

"Y-yes, Sir. Of course, Sir."

"I have received a most disturbing report regarding your conduct on Sunday morning."

"My conduct, Sir?"

I was quite confused. I frantically tried to recall the events of Sunday morning. On Sunday morning, as on every Sunday since I arrived back from the holidays, I went into town with the rest of the girls to go to Church. I tried to remember everything that happened. Nothing unusual occurred during the service, or the fellowship that followed. However, as we were leaving....

"Raising your dress and petticoats well above your ankles and throwing yourself shamelessly at young gentlemen! What have you to say for yourself?"

What despicable calumniation was this? As I was attempting to step up into the carriage, I lost my balance, or so I thought at the time. I remembered, much to my surprise, Priscilla reaching out as if to catch hold of my sleeve. But now that I have had more time to reflect, I clearly recall the incredibly self-satisfied grin on her face as I floundered and lost my purchase. Her hand was not there to help me, but rather to ensure that I failed to gain ingress.

Fortunately, or so I thought at the time, I was caught by none other than the Mayor's eldest son Robert, of whom I have written to you so fondly on several occasions. Yes, dear Cousin, that same Robert Browne, with whom I danced, laughed, (and do not tell Auntie!) kissed at the Mayor's ball. That same Robert Browne to whom, dare I even write it, I was all but engaged! Certainly my apparel was in disarray as I fell. But there was no intended immodesty!

"Well?"

Robert! Of course! Priscilla obviously had designs on my dearest Robert, and had planned to humiliate me in front of my love. But instead, she literally threw me into his strong arms!

"Fine. Since you proffer no excuses for your behavior, it is clear that your actions were as you fully intended. Then the consequences should come as no surprise."

Consequences of what behavior? I had not been paying any attention.

"Sir?

"That kind of behavior is intolerable! And although it pains me, since you have not been a problem heretofore, I have no choice but to give you a severe caning. Bend over the desk, and prepare yourself."

My eyes were so wide, dear Cousin, that I felt certain that they would fall out of my head. That is, until I chanced a glance at the smarmy Miss Andrews. My eyes narrowed. By failing to timely protest my innocence, I had been condemned. But at the same time, I had been reborn, as an avatar of Priscilla's ultimate undoing.