Sorry

Hey. I know you can't read this (unless someone shows you) but I still think that even if someone showed you this, you still won't read this. You're mad at me. I know. So please. I'm begging you to just take a risk to read this if someone ever showed you. Just please. Hear me out.

I love you, okay? I really do. I know that it's too soon for me to say it but it feels right. Okay. I am sorry. I really am. Sorry for getting possessive. Sorry for bitching out. Sorry for I have been oh-so-jealous to the point that I numbered them from four to thirteen. Sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry if somehow, it looked like I was flirting when in fact not. Sorry. Just please forgive me. I love you. Swear. I may not show it often but that is what I truly feel. I know I often mess up but that doesn't mean that I'll mess "US" up. (From the looks of it, I already did) I may have other crushes besides you but that doesn't account that I'll leave you. Okay? Okay. I love you more than I love my books. I love you more than my love for red velvet cakes, blueberry cheesecakes and oreo cheesecakes. Swear. I love you more than Luke Hemmings, Nash Grier, Kian Lawley, Matthew Espinosa and Sam Claflin combined. I love you more than my love for Snoopy. I'd choose you over sleeping. I'd pick you over vinyl figures.I'd rather have certainty with you than somebody else. Sorry.

I am so done with crying. So done with sulking. So done with just keeping my mouth shut everytime I see you having fun without me. So done with cursing everytime number 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 and 13 gets to hold you, touch you and talk to you the way that I did when we were still okay. And I AM SO DONE WAITING. WAITING FOR YOU TO REPLY. Damn it. I am really hurt. I've never cried this hard before. I've never got an 84 out of 90 in a depression test. I've never been this depressed. I've never posted something like that on facebook. I've never been this hurt. I have never lowered down my pride this low. I've never fought for anything like this. I have never broke down in front of my cousins. AND I WOULD NEVER DO THIS IF IT WAS FOR ANOTHER GUY. I WOULD NEVER DO EVERY SINGLE THING OF THIS THING IF YOU WERE ANOTHER GUY. But you. You made me do this. Because of you, this happened. And I don't even know why. I don't even know how. You made me do this. Hey. Oh yeah. I think you only FORGET but you don't FORGIVE.

///////

I'll take what you got, got, got
I know it's not a lot, lot, lot
Cause I just need another hit
You're the thing that I can't quit
You got what I want, want, want
Here and then you're gone, gone, gone
If you told me that we were through
You know that I would break the truce

I want to breathe you in like your vapour
I want to be the one you remember
I want to feel your love like the weather
All over me, all over me
I want to print our hands in the pavement
Savour your words, I won't ever waste them
Look in your eyes and know just what you miss
So lie to me, just lie to me

So talk, talk, talk
Well tell me what I want, want, want
If I don't look into your eyes
It's almost like a perfect line
So don't stop, stop, stop
We'll take another shot, shot, shot
'Cause you know you got perfect aim
I wanna feel you in my veins

I wanna breathe you in like your vapour
I want to be the one you remember
I want to feel your love like the weather
All over me, all over me
I want to print our hands in the pavement
Savour your words, I won't ever waste them
Look in your eyes and know just what you miss
So lie to me, just lie to me

You sound so sweet
When you lie to me
Make you sound so sweet
When you lie to me

I wanna breathe you in like your vapour
I want to be the one you remember
I want to feel your love like the weather
All over me, all over me
I want to print our hands in the pavement
Savour your words, I won't ever waste them
Look in your eyes and know just what you miss
So lie to me, just lie to me

You sound so sweet
When you lie to me
Make you sound so sweet
When you lie to me

--/Vapor 5 Seconds of Summer/--
/////////

So if this letter doesn't make you come back to me, I give up. I'm done. It'll be hard for me to forget you though. But I'll get through with it. Guess you're my karma after all. I love you.