The Lady Quill Chronicles - The Promise

The Lady Quill Chronicles - The Promise - Chapter Ten

Rafe nodded, trying to ignore the bitter feeling that was welling up within him.

“It must have been hard to come to terms with your betrothal to Lord Rafe.” The words almost choked him to say, but still he forced them out. “Anyone must see that the situation is difficult.”

For a moment Adele was completely still and then she turned from her contemplation of the fire and fixed her steady eyes on his.

“Is that how Lord Rafe feels?” she asked quietly, “that our betrothal is….difficult?”

Rafe had no answer to her question and after a moments silence Adele shrugged a shoulder and, to Rafe’s great relief, turned her gaze away from him.

“Of course for Lord Rafe it must have been wearisome, he is some years older than I. It must have been trying to have been bound to someone so young, to have had to wait. I dare say if it had not been for our betrothal he might have been married long ago and would even now have children.”

Rafe was horrified by this suggestion. Great goodness, the way she talked one might suppose he was a veritable grey beard that could hardly be expected to last much longer!

“I never thought before,” continued Adele carefully, “but Lord Rafe may have wished to marry elsewhere and could not because of me.”

There was silence after her statement, Rafe felt his tongue thick and unwieldy in his mouth.

“Maybe Lord Rafe saw your existence as a blessing.” he countered at last. “Perhaps the fact that he was already betrothed to you gave him a feeling of freedom, for he could hardly have been expected to form an alliance with another, when promised to you.”

Adele blinked slowly two or three times, her gaze never wavering from his face.

“Maybe…but did he?” she asked and then held her hand up before her. “No. Do not answer that question, I should never have asked it. Your pardon, Finn, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable…I fear I am very tiresome tonight.”

Rafe struggled within himself. He had never wished to marry another and he had been pleased to use her as a shield against the political alliances formed by marriage. He wished very much that he could tell her that, but knew he could not.

Such an admission would give Adele a belief that he had been content, even pleased with their betrothal and the truth was that he had never been pleased with it. He could not explain to her his feelings on the matter, so it would have been dishonest of him to gain her good opinion by telling her only half of the story, that half that chanced to portray  the situation in a good light.

“Randwulf always says never to ask a question if you are not sure that you can accept the answer.” Adele’s smile was a little forced. “I find that maxim has always kept me from disappointment.”

Rafe kicked at a smouldering ember.

“It does seem to be a course of wisdom.” he replied shortly.

“Yes,” answered Adele, “Randwulf is wise, I think.”

Rafe vouchsafed no answer but Adele heard Eda take a long shuddering breath and cursed herself for her insensitivity. How could she have allowed herself to be drawn into a conversation on Randwulf when she knew the effect it would have on her friend. Yet it was a topic that seemed to be of great interest to Finan and she did not precisely see how she could turn his mind from the subject. For a moment she groped around in her thoughts for a way to turn his attention elsewhere. 

“Do you have any brothers or sisters, Finn?”

Rafe groaned within himself. How was he to answer? He had two sisters, yet Finan had none, only brothers, so which truth did he tell her?