Right by your side

Do you understand?

When jay woke up from his nap he lay in bed completely still, staring at the ceiling. He was thinking over how to approach the others with his confession. " I can't just walk up and say 'guess what, I'm bipolar.' No. That's stupid. I... I need to set it up." He thought. It was eight o' clock. Not the day after but he figured he better get it over with. But then, while wondering how to set up his friends for this little event, a new thought came to mind. "What if they don't care? What if they tell me that being bipolar isn't the worst thing ever and that I should be thankful not to have something worse?" The more he thought about it the more scared he became. Images of being picked on and yelled at by his friends flew into his mind. Jay closed his eyes and drew in a breath. Reassuring himself, he climbed down from his top bunk and nervously cracked the door open. He took one step out, and then another, looking at the floor as he shuffled along. He put a hand on the wall and let it slide along as he made his way to the dining room. Or that's what they called it. The dining room was small and had a rectangular table with just enough seats for everybody. And almost all those seats were full when Jay made it to the doorway of the room. Suddenly all eyes turned to him and he could feel his face start to burn red, but everywhere else he was ice cold. His hands began to shake and he could feel his stomach lurch. He couldn't get sick over this. The others would understand. But Jay wasn't aware of that. All he knew was that he was different from his friends and that he would never have their respect after this. "Jeez Jay," Cole said. "You look like you're dying, sit down." He stood up and walked over to Jay. Cole grabbed him by the arm and tried to pull him to a seat but when he did, Jay tripped and his legs gave out. He clung to the black ninjas cloak and lurched over like he was about to vomit. Everyone started to panic as he fell and they ran to his side to aid him. Kai took charge before Cole could and yelled at Zane to get Sensei. In the time between when Zane left and the moment when he returned with sensei Wu the others had already layed Jay down on the floor and tried their best to get through to him. "What happened?" Sensei asked as he kneeled beside Jay. "I don't know," Kai started. "He just came in here and fell. Is he ok?" Sensei Wu brushed the hair from Jays face to feel his forehead. It was warm, but not burning. His heart was beating fast, but not racing. After only a few seconds of checking over Jay, Sensei Wu had told them he was fine. "Your brother has simply allowed stress to take control of him. He should recover shortly." Zane questioned what Jay could have been worried about but had denied himself of asking it out loud. In a minute or two Jay was awake and everybody was asking him all kinds of questions at once. There were too many to handle and he lost it " Would you all just shut up!" He yelled. The whole room went silent. So silent that they could feel the emptiness ringing in their ears. "L-look I." Jay stuttered. "I have to tell you guys something..." He sat up on the floor and Nya put a hand on his back to help support him. "I-I I'm bipolar... Ok? And I have it bad. My emotions change in seconds a-and I... I don't know..." He looked down away from his friends and awaited the persecution. But there was none. "Jay," Lloyd said in the most sincere voice any of them had ever heard. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? No offense man but we could've tried to help you."

"I was afraid you would get upset with me. I just didn't want to lose your respect."

" Forget about respect, your our brother. We have more than respect in you and trust me we're going to help. Got it?" Cole asked, or more demanded that is. The ginger nodded a 'yes' and Cole gave him a hand standing up. Everyone gave him some sort of reassurance before leaving for bed. All except Sensei, who quietly watched and left when the boys had walked away, and Nya who had stopped to talk to him. "Look Jay, your fine alright. The guys still respect you for who you are ok. You're no different to them. And being bipolar isn't reason enough for me to love you any less. You're still the same guy we care about and nothing will change that. Got it?"

Jay nodded and Nya caught him in a hug. The lightning ninja wrapped his arms around Nya's small form and settled his his head in the nook of her neck. "Nya... C-can I sleep with you tonight?" "Sure Jay." Nya told him and kissed him on the cheek."Sure."

****

It took months for everyone to find better medication for Jay. It didn't cause him to feel sick and it helped just as much as the old one. But aside from finding the new medicine Jay found something else. Much more respect and appreciation for his friends and lover. They supported him so much through the months that he wondered why he ever doubted them. And Nya was always by his side when he needed her. Jay was glad he had such good friends that understood who he was and learned to love him for it. His life was definitely happier than before, and as long as he was around Jay would tell everybody that he wouldn't want anybody else by his side.