a mess || brian quinn

•13•

We don't deal with outsiders very well

They say newcomers have a certain smell

You have trust issues, not to mention

They say they can smell your intentions

You'll never know the freakshow sitting next to you

You'll have some weird people sitting next to you

You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

But after all I've said

Please don't forget

(Watch it, watch it)

All my friends are heathens. Take it slow

Wait for them to ask you who you know

Please don't make any sudden moves

You don't know the half of the abuse

All my friends are heathens. Take it slow

(Watch it)

Wait for them to ask you who you know

(Watch it)

Please, all my friends are heathens. Take it slow

(Watch it)

Wait for them to ask you who you know

Why'd you come, you knew you should have stayed

I tried to warn you just to stay away

And now they're outside ready to bust

It looks like you might be one of us.

•••

After the song was over, we were both out of breathe from singing so obnoxiously. But it felt good to be able to do that in front of someone; to just be an idiot without being judged.

I looked over to Bessie who had a small smile on her lips. I smiled too, looking out the window. I loved car rides. I loved seeing the world flash by in different groups of color.

"Are you alright with going to the mall? They have a
Starbucks inside so we can grab a drink and then walk around."
She spoke to me, keeping her focus on traffic.

I nodded, but then realized that
she couldn't see that I had done so. I reminded myself how stupid I was, and then verbalized that I was down for the idea.

•••

A couple minutes later, we pulled into an unfamiliar parking lot. I've never been to the mall on Staten Island.
Back when my Mom and I used to go shopping,
we'd go to the city. It was so much fun. We'd try on expensive dresses and pretended that we lived in a
fairytale realm. I hated that the happy memories had to bring back the sad ones as well.