The Wick Is Gone

9/11

         Pitch black, white shiny spots twinkling at me in the night. I was 5 and i almost died, i am 5 yet i have the mindset of a 20 year old, i have lung cancer and my mom said 'it will all be ok' but i already know what she means , She doesn't know yet but it really could be but then again maybe.

8/20/1990 (Afternoon)

       It all started when i was outside playing with my friend Trixie and she accidentally pushed me off the slide i blacked out and she told my mom.

8/20/1990 (Evening)

         Later at the HPP hospital they ran me to the ER i was alive but they found out that i will only live until i am about 16 my mom didn't tell me at first but she told me on my 6th birthday. When we got home my mom started making dinner, i was getting ready to take a shower and my dad comes running into the house from work and starts yelling at my mom and he said that she was cheating on him with one of his co-workers (but i know she wasn't i know my mom would never do that) So i ran into the kitchen where they were and my dad swung his jacket around and hit me in the face and my mom ran to me and then my dad pulled a knife on my mom and then my mom grabbed me and she ran outside and grabbed her phone and called 911.

9/11/1990

          Today is my birthday, my mom told me that her and dad are getting a divorce and i didn't really care...because my dad beat me like all the time and so again i didn't really care about it. Anyways my birthday, i got a new kitten and a puppy ,the kitten was a small little white kitten with a long streak of black going down her back. The dog was a german shepherd but he was all black with a brown tummy. I didn't have vary many friends other than trixi, i have marah, whitney and jone they all gave me a candle, and that's okay because i love candles.

12/25/1990

Today is christmas and my mom sent me to my dad's house, i finally arrived at his house even though i didn't want to. He didn't have many presents for me. But i didn't care, he didn't mean much anyways. So i just kept quiet the whole time, waiting for the horrible event to be over. He ruined christmas for me. But then again, he ruins everything. I'd much rather be with my mother. But she refused to "Keep me away" from him. I just hoped she would call, and save me from him. I've never wanted a holiday to end so soon.

12/25/1990 (evening)

Finally i'm with my mother and I told her that dad started beating me again and she called my 'dad' and said shes taking him to court.

1/1/1991

Today im taking a walk in the woods by myself and one of my candles, if you really wanted to know what my obsession with candles here it is, I love candles because they represent life, life is full of fire and excitement, but once the wick is gone it's done, no more action no more fire. Then it has left a mess behind, when you die it leaves a mess, all the crying people, the emotions just one big mess.

Today i also got a letter from my auntie kira

Dear,

Delilah, I haven't seen you in while maybe you should come to florida for a while. Aren't you so tired of ohio? I just wanted you to know that i love you and hope that you're having a great time there. How's your parents doing? Are yall okay write back soon.

love your auntie,

Kira

2/13/1991

My mom told me that she is pregnant and i could tell because she said it's been 5 months since it all happened so now i might have a little brother and/or sister.

6/19/1991

Today is the due date of the new baby. I don't really know what to do about it because i've been a only child for 6 years and this all new for me and i am very confused.

"THE BABY'S COMING"

I can here my mom crying in the delivery room 'It was a miscarriage' Is it bad to say that i'm not upset, I don't know how I feel.

9/11/1991

It's my birthday again and my mom took me to my dad's and his girlfriend's house she is a blonde alcoholic who smokes and she also has three kids Mia, Mary, and Joe, in my eyes they're all little brats who mess with me way to much they even ripped out my air tube that i have to use to stay alive.

1/8/1992

Today I realized that I mean nothing to this world and i don't know what to do about it.

2/14/1992 (Valentines Day)

Today i'm going back to my dad's and i'm really scared about it because his wife has left him for 5 days and it's only me and him so i'm nervous about this whole thing.

2/15/1992

Today at therapy i met this boy named Thomas and i think we will become friends. Hope to write soon.

3/1/1992

Today i'm going to stay at my friend Trixie and were going to go to the mountains.

I arrived at Trixis. Were in the car now, almost to the mountain's. I'm scared. We have arrived, It's so beautiful, The trees all around.