Falling For You || Lrh

one

When they said love is hard I didn't believe them. Not because of the fact I was a growing boy with hormones to the roof but because by the way I've seen seen love it seems to come more easy for others. I thought maybe love would come for me easy too, maybe even surprise me.

No one ever took a second look at me in the hallway, most likely not caring whether I was there or not. My existence ceased to be invisible to everyone but me. 

I wasn't angry no one cared, nor because everyone looked over my shoulder, or maybe even because I was a nobody. I was sad. I was sad I didn't mean anything to anyone, I was sad that people found my height okay to look around, maybe even that I was in fact, myself.

That was, until I saw you.

_

 "John Steinbeck wrote a novel, this novel has very many allusions that people use of reference to. Anyone want to take a guess?" Mr. Kennedy, whom was my new English teacher for my freshmen year. People in the back seemed to groan at his words, their fresh summer minds still on vacation as mine wasn't.

 "Harry Potter?" A boy asks from the second row, a hat simply placed on his head as he looked like he had not tried today to get ready, only slapping on random clothes, which did not match, and a hat in which also hid his terrible bed head.

Wrong; Of Mice and Men. "No, Of Mice and Men, but let's just say good educated guess, Lennie," Mr. Kennedy laughs, the only laugh that came from the crowd of students was mine, my hand quickly covering my mouth as the teacher's eyes flicker towards mine. I must have been the only one who got the joke.

 "My name is Jacob?" It was more of a question, his lack of intellect made him far more embarrassed in my eyes. Before anyone could interject the speaker in the classroom goes off, a small sparking noise makes a hushed sound before a muffled voice rings through.

 "Welcome back to Baulkham Hills  ladies and gentlemen, teachers please excuse your students to meet in the rec center and accommodate their needs while they wait for further instructions," What seemed to be a click went off and Mr. Kennedy let out a breathy sigh and gestured towards the door. All of the students rose from their unassigned seats and migrated towards the door frame. I watched from my seat as people shoved their way past other people. 

Finally, I rise up, Mr. Kennedy following behind the large mass of students in the hallway. "Hey, kid, what's your name?" He asks, even though he had just taken attendance to his new class. My blue eyes flickered up to meet the young man's brown eyes. He seemed interested, genuinely interested.

 "Uh- It's Luke." My voice was hoarse and quiet, nervousness filling the vacant words. I was making a complete fool out of myself by even talking to this man. Is this how it is going to be all year?

 "Well, Luke," He began, walking besides me as we follow the herd of people to the gymnasium. "You go my reference to Of Mice and Men, have you read it?" Mr. Kennedy seemed like a kind man with many words, someone I could easily connect to.

 "I have read most of Steinbeck's most valued work over the summer, sir." I inform him, trying to get out of the situation as I begin to walk faster, his walk fastening as well.

 "Why? People your age should be out at parties or- or hanging out with friends." He chuckles softly, trying to keep the conversation striving, but me being myself, I did not and I would do almost anything to end it.

 "Mr. Kennedy, in this world it's not about friends, it's about who can survive off of intelligence. Friends are going to hold you back from your goal and I can't have that."

With my last words I walk off into the crowd, finally making it to the area full of loud conversations and unneeded cheers. Finding a spot in the very back of the bleachers, I sit alone wallowing in my own loneliness. 

There was a smell to the place, it smelled like overused perfume and sweaty bodies, everyone compacting themselves onto the metal bleachers. I couldn't concentrate on one conversation as many were going on in the depths of the echoing room. 

I look around at other students roughhousing, something my mother is forbid, and talking to their friends. I didn't have friends, being gone two school years was enough to make anyone lose a few friends. I lost them all, all two of them.

There were some familiar faces, some new. Especially yours.

I couldn't help but get lost just looking at you. Your pale skin looked almost porcelain, your makeup making your green eyes pop out, and your smile, your smile alone made me feel a little less lonely.

Maybe, just maybe, I was already losing myself.