Always You

Chapter 1

As the plane gently lands at Seattle Tacoma International Airport, Maine catches herself staring at the disappearing horizon of the late evening sky, her forehead pressed on the window. The airport terminal looming larger and larger as the plane approaches the point of embarkation. Feelings of ambivalence resurface ... so much stronger now than it was some twenty-four hours ago when she started this trip. Her first leg from Manila to San Francisco was somewhat relaxed but as she waited for her delayed flight to take her to her final destination, she began to notice the beginnings of stress and worrying in the form of a tension headache, something she's never experienced before.

Seattle has been home but that was seven years ago. Seven years that felt more like seventy. As much as she remembers her best years, she will never forget the hell that she's been through just before she left. Memories start to flood her ...

"Cabin door is open. Once again it's been a pleasure having you with us. We are sorry for any inconvenience this trip has caused you.   Hope to see you again on your next flight. Thank you for flying Delta..."

As she jolts out of her reverie, she quickly takes a deep breath before standing up and waiting for her turn toward the aisle. She then remembers her mindfulness class, reminding herself to breathe in and out. Whispering softly, "Present Moment. I am not that girl anymore..."

Her thoughts betray her though and it quickly remembers glimpses of a boy. No, THE boy. He who is tied to all the things that she is and she is not today. Almond shaped  eyes. Easy smile.  bow shaped lips.  That dip in his left cheek.

"Must. Not. Go. There."

She fixes her lightweight pullover over her body, checks her passport in her leather shoulder bag  and grabs her carry on from the top shelf.  She eases it down as she walks towards the exit. Heart pounding, feet heavy. Focused on the reason why she had to come home in the first place.

Home. She hasn't called it that in a while. Seven years, to be exact.

As she goes through the tube, she starts to think about the house she once called home. Growing up in America after her parents' accident at age three and being shipped to her aunt, the only living relative she had. She couldn't remember being anywhere else or belonging to anyone else's. Her memories of having a family were all linked to the reason why she had to be back here in the first place.

"I'm so sorry Auntie Pat." Guilty feelings rush in because of her drawn out resentment of the one person who took her in. Recognizing that there's not much time, she hurriedly goes down to the baggage claims section and impatiently waits for her yellow luggage to show up.

Clearing customs was a breeze and then the tricky part begins. Where does she go from here?

Finding herself about to go out of Gate N9, she remembers her last communication with Tita Ruby before she left Manila as she urged her to quickly fly back here because time is running out. Auntie Pat seems to have been suffering from colon cancer for several years now and things are taking a turn for the worse in the past week.

She again asked herself if she needs to go to the hospital or if it's too late, maybe try to go tomorrow instead. Options and choices, however inconsequential, she's learned to not trust her instinct.   Things have to be thought of more carefully.  Remembering the years of therapy she went through, she quickly pictures a weighing scale in her mind, the decisional balance she uses every time she is at a crossroads.

And as she tries to consider the pros of going back to the mansion, she feels her heart start to drum in her chest a little too loudly. She scolds her 27 year old-self for feeling like a dependent troublesome kid that she was years ago, asking herself why she didn't bring enough money to stay in a hotel.  Fact is, working for NGOs don't pay much and hotels here in the US cost an arm and a leg.  No, she needs to face reality and scrimp on any amount as much as she can.  This is definitely not a holiday.  

 She then remembers with a big sigh how Tita Ruby explained that he is gone for the next month on a business trip somewhere in Asia.  Not that she asked but this was explained to her, understanding her reluctance to go back home.  And more importantly the Madame is apparently out most of the year enjoying her senior life and taking all the cruise across Europe she can get her hands on.    Maine apparently doesn't have to worry because they understand why she has to come back and is okay with her staying in the guest house.  Her mind wanders back to him. What would she say? How would she feel?

"Susme naman Maine, katanda mo na. Past is past. Iba ka na ngayon. .... Iba na din kaya siya?"

She then takes another deep breath, and decides to head back to the mansion first. The weighing scale seems to have tipped towards resting for the night listing several reasons: visiting hours being done by the time she gets to the hospital (which is two hours away from the airport), not trusting how she can keep her emotions when she sees her aunt (fatigue plus stress plus unresolved issues surely would lead to disaster), lugging around twenty-three kilograms is no joke... and well, she's just drained and needs all the courage she can muster when she faces Aunt Pat.

As she waits for a taxi in the waiting area, she sees a middle eastern looking man holding an IPad with her name on it beside a black Mercedes Benz.

She approaches him and introduces herself.

"Hi! I'm Rajiv, your driver. I've been waiting for you. Your flight got delayed right?"

"Yes...uhmmm.. I don't remember hiring a limo service.  I certainly don't have the money to pay you..."

"Oh no, no, no.. This was arranged by..." The man grabs something inside the car and squints his eye as he reads..." ....a certain Mr. Richard Faulkerson."