Confusion.

The Start of it All

I was shocked at what my mother had just said to me, I had ran to my room after she told me, not believing what I had just heard. All I could hear after i slammed my door shut was my mom in the Living room saying "I'm sorry" Over and over again. I never knew how much I'd miss Him.

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A couple hours later,  my mother had called me out for dinner that night, my mascara and eyeliner smeared across my cheeks, My bun had turned messy, and the neck of my shirt was wet from my tears. I suddenly found myself yelling "I'll be right there." to my mother, I didn't want to face my older brother, or my father, Nor My mother, But i had walked out anyway. I Walked down our big stair case, and suddenly arrived to our 16 people dinning room table. I met eyes with my father and mother on either end of the table, I took my usual seat next to my brother near the center of the table. I looked down at my hands in my lap as my brother shoved me and said "What's your problem?!" and my mother Yelled from her chair "Lucas!" and my dad had took him to the foyer and I heard my dad mumble something to him, and heard Lucas say "Oh" and then they were sitting. We said grace and ate our Salmon in basic silence, until my mom got the nerve to ask me how my day went. I suddenly burst into more tears, and screamed at her "Do you think it went well, Mom?" she was shocked i could tell when she replied, "I'm sorry for asking Lexi." I shoved my food across the table and stomped up the stairs to my room, not interested in what was going to be said next. I heard my dad scream something at my mom, then Lucas slam his door. I realized today was a bad day for everyone, not just me. I ended up getting into my pajamas and curled up with the Bear he gave me. I ended up passing out at about 3 am, I couldn't get it off my mind, and I couldn't wait to see what school was going to be like tomorrow. I was unhappy about the whole situation.

The next day at school was really quite I didn't talk  to my friends, stopped giving a shit about everyone, and everytime someone said anything, I didn't care, I don't know if my friends even cared, But I knew Jasmin would care. Jasmin has been my best friend forever, since we were both in Kindergarten. When we hit 7th period and went to study hall she rushed up to me and said, "Lexi?? What is wrong with you? You never return my texts nor, do you talk to me. Whats wrong?" I suddenly felt a flash of sadness and anger in me, I replied to her with "I'm Perfectly fine." and I stormed off to the Library. My Teacher Mrs. Petro was wondering what was bothering me because English is my favorite subject, she asked after Class, "Lexi, ive never seen you so gloomy, for what is the mater?" I looked at her with sadness in my eyes when I answered, "Oh Just sprots and Family Stuff." Then I walked out. I remembered I had Volleyball Practicwe and got a little bit happy after that.

  I got home later that day, after volleyball practice, and as usual, Lucas wasn't home from Football yet. I went to the kitchen and saw Rosa in the kitchen doing dishes, I said "Hi" to her and she said "How was school?" I shook my head and just said "Eh-- I have homework" and stormed off to my room. I didn't know to feel sad, happy, or mad.. I was deep in thought when I heard Lucas run up stairs with his best friend Jason, I got up to go fix my hair when Lucas and Jason ran into my room, and jumped on my bed. They scared me and I laughed when they came in, but then they both Jumped on my bed, all sweaty and smelly from football, I looked straight at Lucas and said "What the hell Lucas?! Now my bed is gonna smell horrible!" then Lucas said "Yeah but I Just Love you." I said "I know" When Jason looked at me and said "Why does your room always smell like a bakery, or Holister?" I looked puzzled as hell as I said "How do you--" Then my mom came in and yelled at Lucas and Jason to get out of my room. She looked at me and said "Everything will be fine, Don't worry" and thats when i was suddenly sad again over Him. I don't know why my mom always has to bring it up. It just always upset me.