Making it Through Black Friday: Salesperson Point of View
This time of the year is truly wonderful. The weather is phenomenal, perfect for hoodies and jeans. The leaves change colors, and the air has a sweeter quality to it. We can’t forget the greatest reason that this time of the year is fantastic, Thanksgiving. I look forward to Thanksgiving Day every year, and I have since I was a small child. Unfortunately, I now work retail, which means that my Thanksgiving holiday is tinged with a sad, dark, heart-breaking despair. Thanksgiving has become my last day to prepare for the insanity that is Black Friday. “The National Retail Federation estimates that 138 million Americans will use the three-day weekend that starts the day after Thanksgiving to launch their holiday shopping” (Nobles). What ever happened to spending a holiday at home enjoying your family? Instead many people would rather camp out in a parking lot at the mall just so they can be the first people to get their hands on a fifty dollar television from the commercial.
Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving. It is the single most depressing day of the year. On this day every retail establishment is assaulted by hordes of mouth breathing Neanderthals who want 14 Furbies when the ad clearly states “One per Customer.” This day, each year, reconfirms my lack of faith in humanity. I thought I would put my many years of retail experience to good use and create a guide to help the poor souls who must work this utterly insane, unabashedly ridiculous, and evil day.
Step number one is keeping your job before Thanksgiving. Many people will come in to your store, for months before hand, and ask you to tell them what will be on sale on Black Friday. They will beg and they will plead. They will use guilt. They will try anything to manipulate you into spilling the ad to them. You can be fired for leaking the Black Friday ad. Remember Martha Stewart? She went to jail for insider trading, same thing, sort of. Ok, not really, but you get the point. It does not matter if you have the entire ad burned into your memory, if a customer asks about the Black Friday ad and you have yet to enjoy that delicious Thanksgiving feast, then your response must be “I have no idea, they haven’t released it to us yet.”
The next step in survival is stock up on the caffeine. “The National Retail Federation predicts holiday spending will be up 2.3 percent this year, to $447.1 billion” (Anderson). In order for each retailer to grab the largest chunk of that holiday spending, they are deciding to open earlier and earlier. Many stores are opening at four in the morning. I know what you are thinking, “Who in their right mind would shop at four in the morning?” This is retail; normal rules of logic and sanity do not apply.
It does not matter which shift you work on Black Friday, remember to wear comfortable shoes. Most stores have a dress code in place so it is easy for customers to tell who is an employee and who isn’t. In general these dress codes dictate what type of shoe you must wear. Many people have to be at work as early as three in the morning. Many of those same people will not leave until after one in the afternoon. On Black Friday most people are working, at the very least, a ten hour shift. That means you are on your feet and running around for ten hours. I am pretty sure that it will be ok for you to throw out the dress code and wear your most comfortable shoes on this day, and for the love of all that is holy do not wear high heels to work on Black Friday. By the time this day is finished you will be sore, and you will be tired, regardless of which shoe you choose to wear. There is no sense in causing yourself any more pain than necessary.
You will not be able to leave your work area for extremely long periods of time, if at all. On Black Friday make sure you hydrate. Many people make the mistake of thinking that they will not be able to escape to the bathroom, so they should not drink that much. This assumption is wrong. It is true that you will not be able to escape to the restroom, and trust me you will want to escape, but you will not actually feel the need. Think about all the hundreds of people, both customers and employees, which will be crammed into your store at the same time. All of these people will be emitting body heat which will raise the temperature in your store. All of these customers will also be asking you to run around and grab random items from obscure places in the store. It is going to be hot, and you are going to be sweating. You will not feel the need to use the bathroom, but if you do not hydrate you will get tired quickly and you will feel sick.
Be sure to have a supply of mood enhancers available. The barbarians, who descend upon you first thing in the morning, from their tents in the parking lot, will be angry, and ornery, and impossible to appease. These individuals will take their aching backs and sore necks out on you, as if it is your fault that they chose to sleep on the pavement. Remember the point is to keep your job. Smile at the poor unfortunate people. Nod your head to show that you empathize, and above all else bite your tongue. Take another drink of your coffee, take another one of your Xanex, or swallow some more of your Ginko, whatever you need to do to stay calm, and move on to the next customer.
Customers will want you to run into your stock room to see if you have any more of a particular item hiding in a dark secret corner somewhere. Your initial reaction will probably be, “I’ve checked twenty times, I’m not checking again,” wrong answer. You’re going to need a breather. If you’ve already checked twenty times, that’s perfect. Walk in to your stock room, sit on the floor, close your eyes, and meditate for a minute. You will need the chance to relax and calm down. Plus, your feet will thank you for giving them a break.
The last thing to remember is have plans with your friends after work, preferably plans that include a stiff drink. You will need it. Customers will use and abuse you all day long, you’ll need the chance to cool down and vent. You do not want to rush straight home and take your stress out on your spouses, children, or parents. In my experience, it is best to vent to people who understand. Do not go out for drinks with one of the fools who has been shopping all day, that person will not empathize - probably will not even sympathize - with you. It is easiest to have plans to meet someone from work at the bar. The people you work with will know exactly what you’re talking about, because chances are, they had to deal with the same jerky customers.
I have worked many Black Fridays, and each year I trick myself into thinking that this one will be easier. They never get easier. Each year I am surprised by the audacity and greed of the general public. Then I remind myself that I work retail. Greed is the purpose of this industry and it is the reason for the season. The best piece of advice I have is, do not let it get to you. It is just one day out of the many days in your life. You should still keep my tips in mind though, because it does not hurt to be as prepared as possible
