Noise

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November 17th, 2016--

I feel numb, yet my body aches all over. My vision descends into madness as the world around me gets blurry. I hear farm animals crowding into my office. I sit here and wonder which is really more important: this journal to no one or my paper due in four days. Already, I am further along here. It feels safe. No deadlines. No guidelines. No limitations.

I feel better now.

I lied. The numbness in my head grows more and more intense until it is a dull roar in the background of my thoughts. My body is stiff and dry. Each time I move, my joints pop and seem to snap in half. My mouth feels like a dessert. My eyes burn from the hot, furious air that feeds into them from the polluted atmosphere.

I have a meeting. My superior comes once again to analyze my every move and seek out my flaws. Can she see that I lie blankly? Does she sense that it is all a facade? Would she admit that she caught on to my deceit? Questions. Questions? Questions!  Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies. Should I tell her? Will it all blow over with time? Does it even matter now? Here I am, lying to myself, asking more questions.


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