1, 196 miles & 19 hours away

3

     It was the late night when I moved to another state. There is was a reminder that I was nearly a thousand miles away from you. Listening to music. Telling myself I was completely unfitted until you called the house phone. Even when you didn't know it. We never talked about our personal issues, and I never told you how little I thought I meant to myself.  

     I think maybe it was the music we listened to in your red car, or maybe it was the way you talked about how much you disliked your mom. How I cranked up the music so loud my eardrums hurt. The soda you had bought was numbing my hands. I couldn't feel my body because we were screaming so loud at the lyrics. I can never describe how much that made me feel. 

     When we would be riding the bikes so hard on Wii-fit that our arms were burning, and my hands were sweaty. All I could hear was your voice yelling for me to peddle faster. Sometimes it would be sitting in your tree house eating dinner. Just to have you throw out the food you didn't like into the bushes  that your mom never watered. That was all that made it all okay.

     Emily, I will never forget Friday nights in the car with you riding to Chris and Amanda's. How I felt walking through high school for the first time reminding myself whenever I felt like breaking down, that you were just a mile down the road at college doing schoolwork like I was. 

     I'll never forget leaving that town for good as we were passing your neighborhood. That feeling a drop in my stomach cause I lost one of the best things in my life. I won't forgot ugly face greetings or laughing so hard at a lame body movement. The movement that left my body in need for air. There my mom was never getting any sleep. 

     The look on your face when you talk about Jonah. How when our first sleep over you had me wash my hands with your expensive mermaid soap for a once in a lifetime deal.

      If I could give anything to be at your house eating Top Ramen and complaining about how my mom never buys junk food for me. I would do that. 

     I would do it all over again just to hear you tell me that it's okay.