Forget Normal

Realization

"After a two hour bus ride with a bunch of annoying kids all I wanted was peace. The older kids had other plans, however. Maybe it was because I was new. Maybe it was because of the way I dressed. Maybe word got around that I was afraid of the water. I can't know for sure. All I know is I had nightmares for weeks.

I had just brought my things to my cabin. I didn't bring much; I've always been prone to losing stuff. So I decided it was better to go two months without my DS than to never see it again. However, I never was a fan of outdoor things so I'll probably won't have a good time. I was still happy, though. My parents were going on a trip to Rome and I was happy for them.

After making sure I locked up my valuables, (it was a camp rule that we put them in a chest with a key) I went out walking. It was a nice day. If every day was as beautiful as today maybe camp won't be so bad. Maybe I'll even like it. As I thought this two boys jumped out behind a cabin. They were bigger and stronger than I was. One grabbed my feet while the other grabbed my arms. I realized later were they were taking me. My only thought as it started was 'Shit.'

By the way they were carrying me I saw the world upside down. To me it was as if the sky was the grass and trees were growing from heaven. 'Is there even heaven?' I thought as two strangers carried me off to some unknown location. 'Would God really let this happen to me? No.' I felt the two boys swing me back and forth. 'God would not let such bad things, like miscarriages and war, happen.' With that thought, I was in the air. 'God isn't real.' I felt gravity pull me down.

'If God exists than he must be terrible. Only a bad person would let a kid be kidnapped and then thrown into his greatest fears. A good person simply would not let me drown.' That's why I think I could trust Ryan so easily. He saved my life that day."

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"Yo, Connor!" I hear William yell to me. To him I am Connor and he is Will to me. Sometimes other people will call us by our nicknames. I never really minded it but he gets so mad when other people call him Will. I think it's because he secretly hates it.

I stop, allowing him to catch up. The last bell just sounded. Students hurry out of the building, going out to do their Friday afternoon plans. I spent last period doing a test so I'm completely ready to go out and have some fun. First, my boy has to catch up. Wait, no, Will isn't my boy. He is my friend. My best friend.

When he gets to me, he's all sweaty. He has PE eighth period and that sprint down the hallway didn't help. Will has as perfect blonde hair a dude can have. It's so pretty and long enough that it can still pass has manly. Curly but not an afro. Now the hair completely covered in sweat.

"You're insane," I say to him. "If you think my mom will let you in the house smelling like that." We were goanna spend the weekend playing X-Box at my house but there is no way my mom will let him inside. She's a total, absolute, clean freak.

"Wait, I thought your parents weren't going to be home this weekend."

"Yea, they're leaving to go on a business trip after dad gets off work. Mom's goanna be there we get home. And she'll won't be happy to see you, Mr. Sweaty Freddie." Right as I said it, I knew how lame it was.

Will is so much cooler than I am. He's on the basketball team and hangs out with the cool kids. I always try to cool around him. I'm still not sure why he even hangs out with me. I'm not cool or hip like the other people he hangs out with. I'm the weirdo who says "Mr. Sweaty Freddie."

To my surprise, Will just laughs and puts an arm around me. "Connor, dude, you're such a nerd!" He playfully gives me a nuggy. I'm taller than he is so we're in an awkward position. I tower over most so I'm used to it. Nevertheless, it's weird being taller than Will. As if it's just accepted that he would be taller.

I stop fighting him, suddenly down. "Yea." I say, softly. I don't have a good self-image. All my life people have been calling me weird or queer. That is why nobody knows I'm gay. I don't want to fuel the fire.

He lets me go. "Connor, I'm just joking. You are so not a nerd. In fact, you're the coolest person I know. You're- what's the word I'm looking for?" He stops so he can think. After a moment he snaps his fingers, he always does that when he remembers something. "You're extraordinarily!"

I remember when somebody else called me that. Just stop trying to be normal, you're extraordinarily and I love that. A surge of sadness rushes threw me. It's been years, I have to forget it. Push it out of my mind. I don't love him anymore. I tell myself. And I'm right, I don't. I think I love somebody else.

"Okay, buddy." Will says putting an arm around my shoulder, which again is awkward due to our heights. "You are way to down. And I don't think it's because I called you a nerd. Is there anything you need to talk to me about?" I shake my head. He knows about the bullying that has been happening a lot lately. "Well, I'm sorry but if you're goanna be down all day we can't hang out. So, to cheer you up let's go to the shop so I can shower and I'll buy you ice cream. Sound good?"

I grinned. "You know I can never pass up free food. But can your wallet handle my appetite?" There is a reason why I am six feet and four inches.

He smiles back at me. "There's my boy." He says it in a joking friend way. Like how a girl will call another girl girlfriend. However, I swear he means it in a dating way, but he doesn't. He just doesn't. Will is not gay. I know that he likes girls. And he certainly can't like me. Nobody willing likes me. Not since him.

And I cannot like Will. Nevertheless, I do. I really, really, do. I like everything about him. From the way, he smiles to the way his blonde hair shines. The way his deep green eyes can see when I've had a bad day. The way he snaps in realization. I cannot believe it, but I love him.