Under the Influence

XX.

Mateo sat in her seat, his slightly unbuttoned dress shirt revealing his perfectly sculpted chest.  I was in total awe, my eyes darted all over his body as if I was in a trance, lingering too long on one  area in particular. He really was something else. If he wasn't a Greek god he had to be a model.

He laughed and scratched his stubble "I'm neither actually".

"Huh?" I replied absentmindedly.

"You asked me if I was a Greek god or a model".

"Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud" I blushed, bowing my head so that my curls would cover my now crimson cheeks.

Without warning his lips were at my ear, his breath tickling my neck. But this wasn't like my incident with Freddie, no. I was enjoying this. I shut my eyes as I let the excitement of being close to someone again course through me. He whispered to me in his strong accent that I'd missed too much in America. "I don't mind. You're even sexier than I could have imagined too".  His large hand rested on the small of my back and traveled upwards, caressing my skin as he went. I suppressed a moan and gulped hard. After not having sex, or anything really, for a month this felt like my ultimate fantasy.

My hand reached up to grab him by the nape of his neck and pull him back to me, but I stopped and let it fall back down to me side. "I have a boyfriend" I blurted out, gently pushing him away from me. I don't think I'd ever been more embarrassed in my life. I nearly gave in. I nearly gave into the temptation of him and destroyed everything I had with Marshall. I could never forgive myself if I cheated on him, knowing how badly it had ruined me in the past, even when I didn't have deep feelings for that person. How could I let, even for a second, Marshall feel that worthless and unwanted?

Mateo's features dropped in disappointment and removed his hands from me, resting them back onto his own lap. "Oh. That's okay". 

"I'm so sorry" I slurred. I grabbed my bag and stood up from the bar, stumbling in my stilettos slightly.

"Hey, it's no problem really, I understand. Do you want me to get your sister?" he politely asked already looking around for her.

"No no, it's fine. I have to go, I'm so sorry again". I turned away from him and forced myself through the hoards of sweaty people towards the bathroom.

"Cassie!" I heard my sister call out to me as I passed by her group. I ignored her and continued to run, trying to not trip up. I hurriedly wiped my eyes, hating the looks of pity people were giving me. Why was I crying? Just as I reached the bathroom door she grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "What happened?" she asked me worriedly, panting slightly from chasing me.

"Nothing happened" I sniffled. "He was really nice and really really hot but I just couldn't do it".

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm dating Marshall- Eminem". Nicole's eyes widened in shock, making her eyebrows raise to the ceiling. "We've been together for nearly eight months and I just I couldn't do it to him".

"Wow" she breathed. "Eight months?"

"I'm so sorry for not telling you" I cried even harder, the tears running down my face. Of course I'd decided to wear makeup tonight of all nights. I don't think I'd ever cried as much in my whole life as I had in the past month. "We're not really telling anyone, and so much stuff has happened recently that-".

"Hey, I'm not mad" she brought me in for a hug which I could barely return. "Surprised, really surprised, but not mad. So you can stop crying now".

I shook my head. "I need to get out of here".

"Okay, I'll just-".

"I just want to be alone, please". She sighed and sympathetically looked at me before nodding. With that I quickly ran off, this time out of the club entirely. I kept on running and running, heels in hand and make up smeared. Somehow I ended up at the pristine white sand beach near my house. The beach that used to bring me so much peace, but not tonight. Tonight I was distraught and very drunk. For the most part my town was safe, maybe not safe enough to be out alone at night and drunk, but I didn't care. I collapsed onto the sand and dug my toes into it, my bag falling beside me and the contents spilling onto the sand, including my phone. My phone. I frantically picked it up and dialed the only number I knew by heart.