And For Ever More

Lovefool (The Cardigans)

"What?!" RJ yelps, his voice several octaves higher. "But that's next week!"

"Yes, alam ko po."

"Menggay, ano ka baaa," he wheedles, shaking his head in disbelief. "It sounds like a great opportunity. Why would you let it pass?"

"Because, RJ," I explain patiently, as if speaking to a small child, "I probably wouldn't get in. Sobrang suntok siya sa buwan, as in. I'd just be wasting my time."

RJ groans loudly at this, clearly frustrated. "Baby ko, you need to stop underestimating yourself. You didn't think you could report the news in front of a camera before, but look at you now. Go for the internship. You'll never know unless you try. Wala naman mawawala sayo eh."

I wish I could believe in myself as much as he does, I really do. I sit in silence for a moment, unsure how to respond, when a series of beeps come through on RJ's phone, distracting him. He pulls his iPhone out of his pocket, and as he reads through his messages, the expression on his face subtly changes. I touch his arm gently, concerned.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"Huh?" He glances at me, startled, and the troubled look in his eye takes me aback. "Oh. Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. Nagtext lang yung dad ko."

My dad perks up at the mention of RJ's father. "Kumusta nga pala ang tatay mo, RJ? Bakit wala sya dito ngayon? Mukhang di birong game pa naman to para sayo."

RJ fretfully tugs at his left earlobe, a habit of his when he's nervous or on edge. "Meron po kasi siyang importanteng business trip, Tito," he mumbles, just as another series of beeps emits from his phone. He quickly taps a few buttons, and I know he's just put his phone on silent.

"Ganun ba? Sayang naman. Bueno ikamusta mo ako sa kanya ha?" My dad says casually, and RJ merely nods.

I quickly change the topic by commenting on the referee from earlier, who was clearly biased against RJ's team, and as expected, the subject gets my father all riled up. Tatay hates unfairness of any kind, and he has strong words about the referee.

When the last of the fajitas is gone and Tatay has paid the bill, he leans back in his seat with a sigh of contentment. "O paano. Mauna na kami. Mahabahabang biyahe pa pabalik. Menggay, nakahanda na ba ang mga gamit mo? Akina't isasakay ko na. Magpapalit ka pa ba ng damit o yan na suot mo pauwi satin?"

I shoot a discreet glance at RJ. Part of me wants a few minutes alone with him before we leave, just to make sure he's alright. He's been a little quiet ever since his father texted. Part of me really needs to go to the bathroom.

"Okay na po tong suot ko. Pauwi na rin naman po tayo. Mag-CR lang po ako bago tayo umalis," I tell my dad, pushing my chair back. "Mauna na po kayo ni Nanay sa kotse, sunod po ako."

"RJ, iho napakaganda ng laro mo kanina. Isa kang hardcourt henyo. Ipagpatuloy mo yan! Wag mo kaming kalimutan pasabihan kay Menggay na manood ng mga susunod mong laro."

The entire time while I'm waiting in line for my turn to use the bathroom; while I'm washing my hands; then while I'm peering into the mirror to make sure my makeup still looks okay; I'm wondering what RJ's dad said that got him looking all bothered and worried. RJ never talks about his family much, and only now does it dawn on me just how little I know about them. All I really know is that RJ's mom passed away a few years ago when he was twelve, and that his father is away a lot on business. Besides that, he hardly ever mentions them, preferring instead to talk about his childhood adventures with Screen, whom he's known since he was five years old.

I quickly brush my hair and apply fresh lip gloss, and I'm heading back towards our table when I spot RJ and Tiffanee standing near the entrance of the restaurant, apparently having a serious conversation. This isn't like that last time at the Brew Code. They're not pressed up against each other, or even touching, and neither of them are smiling. Instead, RJ appears to be speaking earnestly as Tiffanee shakes her head repeatedly, looking distressed.

My stomach is doing flip-flops and I'm fighting to remain calm. Don't overreact. Don't overthink, I tell myself. You have no idea what they're talking about; it's probably something completely mundane and innocent. Besides, ever since that incident with Mellanny and the others in the cafeteria, Tiffanee has kept a respectful distance—from both RJ and I. And anyway, she's here with her boyfriend, and those two are thick as thieves; they're constantly all over each other everywhere they go, even at school.

Speaking of Tiffanee's boyfriend, I see Vince suddenly appear at her side, and he looks upset. My stomach is doing gymnastics. He and RJ exchange a few words, then Vince steps forward and puts his hand on RJ's chest, as if telling him to back off. I clap a hand to my mouth, starting to panic.

Thankfully, RJ puts both his hands up and backs away, and Vince starts pulling Tiffanee towards the bar. I stomp over to where RJ is standing, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What was that about?" I ask, struggling to keep my voice even.

"Wala, wala," RJ tries to brush me off, waving a hand dismissively.

"Anong wala?" I demand, "I saw the whole thing! For a minute there, I thought he was going to fight you."

"Pfft," snorts RJ, "OA lang talaga yang si Vince. Super seloso. Tiff and I were just talking, tapos nag freak out siya agad. But it was nothing."

I study his face in silence for a moment. He wouldn't lie to me, would he? Suddenly, his expression softens and he breaks into a warm smile.

"Nga pala, please thank your family again for what they did tonight. Sobrang natuwa ako, I really appreciate it."

I can't help but smile too as I remember the look on RJ's face as they came in like a walking bunch of grapes, each one wearing his jersey number on their cheeks.

"Tonight was great," RJ goes on, taking both my hands in his, "And it's all because of you and your family. I couldn't have played as well as I did kanina if not for you. You really do inspire me, Menggay."

He's looking earnestly at me with shining eyes, and all my earlier fears melt away. I still don't know what I did to deserve this beautiful boy; to have him look at me the way he does; to have him cling to my hands like they are his lifelines.

He's still talking, his eyebrows now furrowing ever so slightly. "You have to apply for that internship, okay? Hindi kita titigilan hanggat hindi mo pa napapasa yung application mo. Kukulitin kita ng kukulitin until you apply."

I let out a laugh and he tugs at my wrists, pulling me closer. "I mean it, Menggay. Don't let the opportunity pass—you'll regret it. And I know you can get in—you can do anything."

He lowers his head and plants a kiss on my forehead, and I lean into him and wrap my arms around his neck. He is the most huggable boy; lean and toned, yet somehow soft and cuddly at the same time.

"Thank you for believing in me, RJ," I murmur into his shoulder.

He strokes my hair gently and whispers, "You're welcome, baby girl. Always welcome."

We stay that way for a moment, lost in a heated embrace, melting into each other like two different kinds of chocolate, then I reluctantly step back, remembering my parents. "I have to go," I say regretfully, already missing him.

"I know," he says, releasing me. "Thanks again for tonight. Ingat kayo pauwi."

He gives me a quick smack on the lips and I give him one last smile before I turn to leave. I'm almost at the door when he catches my hand again, making me look back in surprise.

"Guess what?" He asks, a big, boyish grin on his face.

"What?" I ask, slightly puzzled.

"I love you, Menggay."

I don't think I've ever smiled this wide before. I'm seriously afraid my face may crack in two, I'm smiling so damned hard. I'm completely speechless. No boy has ever told me he loved me before. So this is what it feels like. He only said four words, including my name, but it opens a floodgate of feelings I've never experienced all at once. I am so happy it scares me—ecstatic—over the moon—scared to death and terrified. I don't know what to say, so I close the gap between us and let my lips inform him—in glorious detail—how I feel.

When we pause for air, I find the words.

"Guess what? I love you too."