There she is. The woman. The woman who screwed me over. She was supposed to be my mom. I thought moms were supposed to love you unconditionally and be there for you every second of every day since you were born. But here she is, she's not loving me anymore. She left me. She told me for 14 years straight that should would love me and help me through life. But she broke her promises and left. She didn't want to be here anymore so she left.
She would tuck me into bed and tell me she would see me in the morning. Last night she came into my room, told me she loved me and i told her that I loved her too because I did. But when I woke up she was gone. She left me. I started crying. And sit there pouring my eyes out because she left me on this earth alone. I sit there holding her in my lap.
Now she's laying there in a casket. Leaving me here by myself. I thought she was supposed to live to see my children, her grandchildren. But she left. She left me unexpectedly. Now she lays in front of me, dead.
Everyone is trying to tell me it's okay to cry but it's not. Crying shows signs of weakness and I cannot afford to be weak right now. I need to be strong like she was. I need to sit here in my black lace dress and suck it up and deal with it. I am going to have to go back to school on Wednesday and have to walk through the halls with people staring at me like a lost puppy. Teachers and students will try to tell me it's okay and that they are there for me and that they know how I feel because it's how they felt when their grandma or grandpa died. But they don't know. They did not have a connection like me and my mom. My mom and i could tell what each other were thinking just by looking at each other. We had a special connection that no one could take away from us, except for death.
She is gone now. My connection is lost and my life is now lost. She's gone and now so am I.
