If only you knew

Intro

  "watch it nerd" he grunts at me as he runs into me, knocking my books out of my hands and all over the floor. I don't dare make eye contact with him.

  "Sorry" I squeak in terror, while gathering my books and rushing to my class, I heard the guy and his friends laughing probably making fun of the scared little girl that ran away from them.

  I hate school with a passion.
 
  There's no way I'm going to sit in the front row to learn about some stupid lesson and I'm not going to bothering raising my hand to answer a question. Its annoying and just a waste of my time, because I know that no matter what I will never be close to how smart they all are.... I don't even try anymore.

  I pretended to take notes in the back of the class but really I was doodling like I always do, as I listened to music. Music is what makes me happy, it's my happy place, I don't go anywhere without it and it helps me get through so much. It's the only thing I really care about anymore....

  I don't have friends, and I'm living in a world of hate. Nobody likes me and nobody will. I know it, I know I'm not good enough and I'll never be. I'm the awkward one, the unloved one, the ugly one, the hated one, the uncared for, the misjudge, the bullied, the suicidal one. I'm not wanted in this world and that list could go on forever.

  Lunch, the worst part of the day, because instead of having only about 20 people around me, I have about 150 people. I get bullied enough through the classes but at lunch it's worst. My food gets spit in, I get food thrown at me, my drawings will get ripped right off the table and thrown into the trash and so much more. Once again I go on with a smile on my face, listening to my music trying to drown out the world and the pain...

  After school I walked home like normal and made my way to my house barely looking up to see what's in front of me. Walking through the big red door of our tiny brick house, I hear screaming and yelling... again... my parents fight constantly and it's over stupid shit. I just walk a past them and go straight upstairs and into my room.

  I close the door behind me and throw my bookbag and myself on the bed. Taking in a deep breath, I realized that it would be so much better if my dad wasn't here. He's not home half the time and we don't know where he goes, he comes and goes when he pleases, and when he is home its terrible because he sucks the fun out of everything. Gosh I hate him so much.

  And after a couple minutes, my dream came true. My dad finally slammed the door one last time before driving away from us without even say bye. It's been a year now since I've seen him and to be honest, I miss him. I don't know why I ever said I wanted him gone.

  I don't have a dad anymore....

:| author's note |:

Probably sucks but o'🐳. I tried, I hope you enjoyed the intro and comment+vote plzzzz. Wuv you guys❤