There Will Be Freedom (not mine)

21. Suspicion

"Have fun."

He kissed my cheek and then bounded out of the door. "Bye, Maddie."

"Bye."

I continued to sort clothes.

Whites...

Colors...

Whites...

Colors...

Finally, I was done after another half an hour of meticulously going through everything. We had packed a lot for Spain and brought back even more. Surprisingly, they had good maternity clothes over there. I took full advantage of that and bought two suitcases full of stuff.

I was growing bigger every day. My stomach kept protruding out, but I could usually hide it if I wanted. Soon, I knew that wouldn't be the case. My boobs were like cantaloupes and usually felt sore for most of the day, but the pain was beginning to fade. I figured everything was supposed to hurt at this point.

I had my twelve week check up in a couple of days, so I would be able to see how I was progressing. That excited me. This was really going to happen. My baby would be here in a couple months' time, and I couldn't stop smiling about it. Bridget said it was a glow. I never understood it until now.

Could this really be possible? I never thought I could be happy like this. I had an amazing husband, a nice job, a good family, and a baby on the way. Of course, we had problems-more so than normal people-but they were just small obstacles. I didn't know what I was expecting, but when I left Thorp five years ago, I didn't really think I would end up here. It wasn't a possibility.

I exhaled in happiness and turned on the washer. I watched the clothes tangle together for a minute before adding detergent. I shook the empty bottle when I was done.

"I think I'm going to have to get some of this," I said to myself.

Since we needed more detergent, I figured it was time for a full restocking.

Justin had a very specific list of things that he used for bathroom essentials; from soap to conditioner to body wash. I didn't mind using whatever, but he usually forbade anything with preservatives or artificial coloring from even being in the house.

All our things were hypoallergenic, extra soothing, deep cleansing, super moisturizing, and extremely vitamin enriched. His razors had to be vacuum-sealed and untouched. Detergent had to be made with natural ingredients and couldn't smell of anything. Cleanliness was the key, not scent. He would throw a fit if his toothbrushes weren't packed with care, and God help everyone if his shampoo wasn't perfect. The shampoo had to be right.

He didn't trust stores to carry most of the stuff he needed, so we ordered everything straight from the supplier.

It was kind of strange at first to call the headquarters of Dove or Gillette and ask for certain products, but they assured me it was okay. Now, it was like second nature to me. Every month or so, I would call with a long list of things with specific instructions, and the next day, a large box would arrive on our doorstep. Justin would unpack it and stack the things neatly in the bathroom, always with a happy smile.

We had a standing order, so it didn't take long for me to make the call, and I was assured that I would have my package tomorrow, rain or shine.

It was only ten in the morning, and I felt accomplished already. I didn't have work tonight, so I could stay in and cook instead of going out for dinner. I enjoyed days like this, when I had some time to myself to do what I wanted. It might seem strange, but I took pride cooking and organizing my rather large home. It made me feel useful. It wasn't like I could spend millions of dollars importing and exporting illegal things out of the county like Justin did. That was his high; this was mine.