Fear Is Controlling

Waking up

Bright. That's all I can describe it as. I am on a hard, cold metal table. I have a really bad itch on my nose and it won't go away... I try to move my right arm to scratch my nose but I can't feel it, quite literally, I have no arm, all I think I have is the upper area of my upper arm, it doesn't hurt, so it's not fresh. "WHERE THE HELL HAS MY RIGHT ARM GONE?" I shout hoping someone will hear me. I try to scratch my nose with my left arm but it won't move, I'm bound to the table, metal curling around my wrists and attaching to the table. I start thrashing, trying with all my will to move my body to run away from this place, find out about myself. I don't remember anything I don't even remember what my name is? I just seem to have woken up. I'm scared. I seem to have an instinct to call out for my 'mother' but I don't know who she is or, even, if I have one. Do I have a family? Do I have a family that is missing me right now? Or are they happy I don't know them? Did they do this to me? No, this isn't helping, all these thoughts are just going to make me insane. Back to reality. I hear a deep male voice saying "see? I told you the subject was unstable." A woman intervened "we will be going along with what we previously arranged." The stern voiced woman started walking towards me. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME, I DEMAND TO KNOW, WHAT AM I? WHO AM I? What is this place? Please... I'm scared." no reply... Just- ouch- a needle in my arm, the inside of my elbow. My body fell asleep, it had no power to move at all. Yet I was fully aware of everything around me. As I said, I can not move at all, I feel numb all over. Scalpel. I am looking at a scalpel and I'm scared, I start breathing heavily. I'm hyperventilating, I need to calm down. I close my eyes... Except I don't I can't move my eyelids. Wait am I watching my own surgery? Hang on what's it for, I don't have cancer or something do I? The scalpel touches my stomach. I feel it but I also don't I just know it's there, I don't know how but I know it is there. It starts cutting open my stomach, I am suddenly in control of my body, but not from my view I am not in my body, I... I am looking at my body? How? What am I then? I try and distract the 'surgeons' I grab their equipment an throw it as hard as I can. Woah, I threw it across the room so hard that it hit the wall and bounced back nearly as far as it went. "Wow, even I didn't expect that to happen!" The stern voiced woman said. I got a good look at her in this body, she looks just as strict as she sounds, a long pointed face, with squinty little eyes that seemed to be looking everywhere. "Well she is ugly but her powers are strong-ish, maybe we need to carry on with the programme but change it to the one we gave to our last subject, such a shame she died, she was too powerful for her own good." That was it, that broke my sanity, my family didn't want me? I am ugly? what is 'pretty'? 'Subject'? The last one died? Power? 'Too powerful for her own good'? Programme​? Does that mean i need more of these 'surgeries'?
So much doubt was filling my mind that I lost it, my sanity, well, of what was left. I walked over to the pile of instruments on the cold, off white floor. I pick up a slightly larger scalpel than the one 'stern face' was using. I start walking towards her, I was about to plunge the scalpel in it the woman's back when she suddenly turns around and I am back in my body... What the hell just happened, did I just...