Alone

❥I

It's time. It's time to move to a new house. It's time to transfer schools. It's time to make new friends. It's time to change everything entirely. It's time to start over.

"Maybe this is for the better" I thought.

I sighed as I continued to pack my things into these light, worn out cardboard boxes. I don't want to move. I was completely comfortable in Dallas, Texas in my school with my friends, my volleyball team, and not to mention—my boyfriend, Gabriel—who I'm gonna miss him so much.

The only reason we're even moving to Sacramento, California is because my dad got a job promotion. He had three options: Bronx, New York; Tacoma, Washington; Sacramento,California. My mom loves California and has always wanted to live there, as do me and my father. Fine, I'll admit that I actually love California and living there has always been my dream. But, now that the time has come to actually live there, and I'm not ready. I'm not ready to leave my friends, my school, my community.

My anxiety has blown through the roof. I used to go to therapy back in freshman year due to my constant panic attacks. I use to take benzodiazepine for a couple of months because my stress eventually evened out and I got better. Now I feel the same panicky feeling that I used to everyday in freshman year. I start shivering like I'm in Antarctica without clothes on but my body is overheated like I'm in the Sahara. My palms get extremely moist as my tongue feels like it was injected with poison and had been numbed. My head begins to pound like Thor is trying to break out of it with his hammer.

   I haven't felt like this since last year and thought it would be over for sure after we got the issue resolved. But of course my dad has to get a promotion right when this situation blows over. Why does my dad have to be so awesome in the most inconvenient times?

   "Cecelia!", Lucille called from her room. Lucille, who everyone addresses to as Luci, is my younger sister. Although she is only a year younger than me, I still look out for her and protect her because I don't want her getting hurt. We're polar opposites personality wise. I'm introverted, she's extroverted. She's loud, I'm quiet. She has no problem working with new people, I struggle ordering at McDonald's. Beyond those things, we get along like two peas in a pod. I love her so much.

I walked to her room to find her waiting on the floor besides her coffee table with a candle on the middle of it. I closed the door immediately and sat down on the other side. This was a sacred tradition we had. We would sit around her coffee table with a candle lit on the table and talk about our feelings. We would empty out to each other.  She grabbed her lighter and lit the candle and looked back at me and grinned.

"We meet again", I said followed by a chuckle.

"Ha, yeah", she said back.

"So, uh, h-how do you feel about this whole situation?"

"Um...idk."

   I hesitated.

"Cecelia..."

   Crap. She knew. I knew she knew. Ah, she knows me so well. It's usually a blessing but sometimes it's a curse. It's hard keeping secrets from her but, I love talking to her. It's confusing.

"Um, well..."

"Ceci, what is it?"

"Um..."

"Come on, tell me. You know you can trust me."

   I feel so bad, I need to tell her. I mean we're in the middle of a sacred tradition. I sighed. I guess there's no point in hiding anymore.

"Ok fine. My anxiety is back."

"What? Oh my gosh, are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Do you need to tell mom and dad?"

"No, no, no, please don't."

"Why not?"

"It's only because we're moving. Once we move and I get used to our new lives, hopefully it'll go away. If it is sell there after a month or so, then I'll tell them. Promise me you won't tell."

"Promise."

   We did our promise handshake, it's kind of like a secret handshake except we do this only when we need to keep a promise. Another one of our sacred traditions.

"I think we're done here.", Luci said.

"Yeah, I think so.", I said back.

   She blew the candle out as we both began to stand up. As I proceeded to walk out the door, I turned around and looked at her.

"I love you, Lulu."

"I love you, Ceci."

   We walked to each other and hugged. Luci pulled away and looked at me.

"You can come to me for anything. You know that right?"

"Yes, I know I can always count on you."

"I can always count on you too."

   I went back to my room and proceeded to pack my things. We were moving in two weeks. Just the thought of that made me anxious. But, I need to get over myself. I want to get better and not worry. Hopefully, California will do me right.

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Hey guys! It's Nat here. Forgot to add this author's note hehe. The first couple chapters may be a little boring because I need to have an introduction.
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Also, I want to say this so you know:
Cecelia's nickname is pronounced like Cece v

Ceci = CC
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My goal for the end of this upcoming week I'm going to try to finish at least five chapters.