The Crying Game

Oblivion

       

My feet dangle off the edge of the bridge. The water's tantalizing call beckons me. The rush I get up here, on this ledge, this has become my only feeling lately. Everything else is just numb. Pointless. I stare into the oblivion, would it be worth it? I shift my feet and slowly, ever so slowly stand on the stone ledge. The wind whispers through the pillars, biting into my clothes. Closing my eyes I shut myself to the world. I stand here for who knows how long, trying to find quiet in my mind. A tap on my shoulder shakes me from my inner world.

            "What are you doing here? This is my spot." The voice belongs to a teenage boy around my age. I sit back down on the stone and turn around. Pale skin, dark hair, face too square-ish to be Tumblr but he has the same look.  The boy gives me a small grin. His smirk is good, and for one second I almost believe it. But I see the same numbness in his chocolate eyes that I feel. I scoot closer to the pillar and pat the stone next to me. Another half heart-ed smile from the boy, he hoists his backpack up and then himself.

            "Thanks." He holds his hand out. "Smith Danielson."

            "Cassidy. Nice to meet you, I guess." Mutual understanding passes between us. Smith's gaze darkens, but he flashes a quick smile, motions for me to wait a second and digs through his backpack. Triumphantly, he pulls his hand out, and more importantly a Butterfinger candy bar.

            "Split it?" He raises an eyebrow. I can't help but crack a smile.

            "Sure." I don't remember the last time someone my age was genuinely nice to me. My voice cracks and the familiar tears begin to sting my eyes. A side glance from Smith, but no words. If anyone should understand it's him. Ripping the package open, he breaks the bar in half and hands part of it to me.

            "So, what's your story?" My head jerks up at his question.

            "What?" I take a bite of the chocolate bar but it tastes like ash in my mouth. Smith shrugs and gestures at the water beneath us.

            "People who end up where we are have a story." A biter smile twists his face, and I can finally, truly see the pain. "So what's yours? How'd you end up here?" Familiar pressure builds up in my throat, painfully pushing down any words that I would say. So we sit in silence, eating our chocolate bar and staring out into the water. Dreaming of oblivion.  My stomach churns, but I say nothing. Nothing is best. 

            "My brother died." Smith's voice interrupts our dark thoughts, breaking the silence. His words shock me. People like me don't go around sharing their story. I glance over and see his eyes shining with pain.

            "How."

Another bitter laugh. Angry smirk.

            "You know to not say 'I'm sorry'. Me and you, we could be friends." It's my turn to laugh angrily, at fate. He avoids the part we both know. We're not going to make it much longer. We came here for a reason. Sooner or later we're going to actually do it. "I'd love to say that it was something brave, that he died a hero but he was an idiot. A complete idiot. Party with a couple friends, got drunk. Thought they could outrun the train." He pauses for a second and throws the wrapper into the river. "They didn't." I run my hand through my hair.

            "You're right. That was stupid. But you still miss him." The mask of anger slips and Smith slumps and runs a hand over his face.

            "Yeah. Of course." His brown eyes are rimmed with red when he looks up at me. Gesturing to the half of candy bar in my hand Smith quietly adds, "Those were is favorite. I was going to eat them one last time before..." he shrugs. Silence falls over us again.