Ring Around My Finger

Chapter 1

Ash's POV

  I sat behind the old school, my cigarette nearly gone. Dammit, where was Jeff? I had been waiting for at least half an hour for him. Finally, I saw his figure approaching. His blond hair went to his shoulders, which was blowing around in the autumn wind.

  "Hey, asshole." I greeted. 

  "Here we go again." Was his only response.

  "What do you want to do?"

  "Stop that!" Frustration was obvious in his tone.

  "Why should I?" I blew out some smoke, satisfied with watching it drift into the air and disappear.

  "Because you're destroying yourself!"

  "No I'm not." Another puff.

  "Oh really?" He pulled the hand holding the cigarette away. Before I could protest, my sleeve was pulled down, exposing the hastily made cuts lining my arm.

  "Asshole!" I cried, covering my wrist again. He stood up, pacing around.

  Puff.

  "What am I supposed to do with you?" He looked at the cigarette, before looking away again.

  Puff.

  I closed my eyes, trying not to remember that night. I looked up to see Jeff staring at me, concerned. "You okay?" I looked down, dropping the cigarette. "Dumb question." He sat down next to me. "What's wrong?" concern was apparent in his voice and face.

  I wasn't sure how to answer. I stared at the embers coming off the cigarette. "Ash?" He touched my arm, making me shiver.

  "I'm good. I gotta go, though." I stood up.

  "Wait!" He called, but I was already gone. I was running, sprinting, even. My house was close. I threw open my front door and ran straight to my room. I needed to think, to remember on my own.

  I thought about when he'd first come to our school, two years ago. We'd hated each other and gotten into fistfights. Then, the next year rolled around and we were better friends. Then, suddenly, it was like we were desperate to see each other 24/7, or maybe that was just me. Anyways, I was sure of my feelings, but not his. Sometimes, he seemed into me. Sometimes, not so much.

  I didn't really have many other friends, just people I knew. I laid on my bed, glad nobody was home. My sister and dad were at some school thing. I didn't really care much, Abby was annoying, anyways. She was 4 years younger but still thought she was better in every way.

  I thought about school. I was known as the "emo." Too bad all the emos of the school had left the previous year, so I was alone. "Fucking cutter," "Devil worshiper," And many other things were my aliases at school assigned by the wonderful people I learned with. Truth was, they didn't bother me. I'd learned to keep a shell around myself. I was strong, only Jeff had broken them down.

  I wish he didn't.

  I opened a book. I loved to read and write. I couldn't really do anything else, I wasn't exactly talented. I walked outside to the backyard and lit another cigarette as I read, taking myself to a whole new place.

  Eventually, it got too dark to read. I went inside to see Abby and my father eating together. Obviously, nobody had thought to ask me to join. I grabbed a slice of pizza and went to my room. I really didn't want to see them, anyways. It was Thursday, which meant seventh period with Jeff. I smiled at the thought before cursing at myself. I could never date him, besides, I would ruin him.

  I took a shower and went to bed, reading until I fell into a dreamless sleep.