coffee cups ➸ lippa

one

PHILLIPA was scared that her three a.m. mourning sessions were becoming habitual, but there was nothing she could do to stop herself venturing through to the living room every night, teary eyed and heartbroken. She was sick of it, staying up, sobbing into tissues that would later lay crumpled on the floor.

She was sick of pretending she didn't care anymore, pretending he didn't matter to her now. During the day, a perfect faux smile was consistently drawn on her lips. At night, the mask was pulled away from her face to reveal a broken girl, simply waiting for someone to come along and glue her back together again.

Nothing could take him off her mind. Not the dozens of hangover-inducing vodka shots on a Monday evening. Not the exhausting, long hours work provided, that should take her mind off of things. Nothing except Lin.

Bags exaggerated heavily under his puffy eyes, Lin-Manuel would plod through sleepily from his room, falling down onto the sofa beside her, clad in his pyjama pants and a loose shirt.

Every night, the same question:

"Why are you up at this time, Lin-Manuel?"

Every night, the same reply:

"To sew your heart back together."

Her tone was always an attempt at being stern, but Lin knew she didn't mean it when her voice cracked, and her face crumpled, and more tears trickled down her blotchy, red cheeks.

His tone was almost sympathetic. He hated seeing his best friend in such a state, hated seeing her the morning after, glumly preparing for a day of fake happiness and laughter.

"Are you okay, Pippa?" He asked it every time, because he was awful at comforting people. He never knew the right thing to say, and sometimes he felt like there was nothing to say at all.

"I just want coffee and cuddles, Lin." She groaned, her head drooping to look at her lap. She was embarrassed she succumbed to this every night, but she knew she couldn't resist it even if she tried.

Nodding, and making sure not to show his reluctance for fear of upsetting her more, Lin shuffled through to the kitchen, directing himself blindly in the dark towards the coffee machine. On his way, he flicked on the light switch, eyes squinting in the sudden contrast of previous darkness and the newfound bright.

He waited a few minutes to brew two coffees, just as Phillipa liked it, and brought it back through to the living room, careful not to spill any as he turned the light off again with his elbow.

"Coffee, just the way you like it, in your favourite mug." He granted her a toothy grin, slipping the steaming coffee mug into her outstretched hands.

"Thank you. So much." She mumbled, cup raised to her lips as she leant against the slightly taller man.

He nodded in a simple response, wrapping his free arm around her to pull her close to his chest. Her tears had stopped dripping from her eyes like a leaking tap now, and were dried in long, grey trails of mascara down her cheeks. Regardless, Lin thought she looked beautiful, tragically so, even.

They sat in silence for a good few minutes, the only noise penetrating the quiet being the slurps of their coffee, and the sounds of New York City below them - it seemed the city really never did sleep.

"You know you don't have to do this, right?"

It was Phillipa, who had broken the silence, craning her neck around to face the older man, who was shocked by her voice, almost harsh amongst the soft quietness of the air around them.

"Of course I do, Pips. Do you expect me to lie in my bed and listen to you sobbing your poor little heart out all night?" Lin spoke, voice showing every hint of confusion her question had brought upon him.

Lacking a reply that wouldn't make him angry, she sat in silence as he rubbed circles on her upper arm with his thumb. In all honesty, she didn't see why he should care enough to keep her company in the wee hours of the morning while she mourned the loss of a boy. If he didn't want her, the one she thought loved her the most, then why would anyone else?

It took them the better half of ten minutes to finish their coffees, despite their lack of speech. Perhaps they were both too deep in their trains of thought to drink. Once done, Lin leant forward, placing his own mug down on the glass coffee table that sat before the couch. Pippa passed her own empty cup, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

"C'mere you. Try not to think about it, okay?" Lin said, opening his arms as he sat back against the arm of the chair.

Without much hesitation, Phillipa slid into his arms, making herself comfortable in the warm embrace that she craved. Lin pressed a chaste kiss to her temple, the entire situation entirely normal for them, not over-sexualised or awkward in the slightest. Phillipa was happy for him to hold her close without the worry of him wanting her, and Lin was happy to do so in kind support of his best friend.

Supporting his head with a pillow, Lin focused on engraving circles into Phillipa's skin with his thumb, anything to distract himself from the shitty excuse for comforting he had provided earlier. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful, that she deserved better, and better was him, but he couldn't, because he couldn't ruin it for them.

Phillipa was almost thankful for the circles Lin was burning into her arm. It distracted her to no end, but she wasn't sure it was in the best way - for she almost desired to turn around and press her lips to his in thanks for his support. Perhaps it was greedy to wish that upon herself though - Lin would never desire someone like her, not in a thousand years.

---

hi, it's kirsty! i had the desire to write this new lippa fic, as the idea just came to me, and i figured it'd put this new account to even more use!

if you'd like to see even more hamilton cast fic, make sure to check out karaoke, the janthony fic that michaela and i write on this account! we're super buzzed to write it, and we hope you guys enjoy reading it!

as always, kind critiques and constructive criticism is always welcome, but please leave the hate at the door? thank you!