(after the) #happilyeverafter

Chapter 19: The Fix is In

Elise,

I've gotta say... NOT COOL. You've pulled one of these disappearing acts at LEAST once a season when EVERYTHING IS HITTING THE FAN and left me in the lurch trying to mop things up... That's all I'm going to say about it right now because spilt milk and all that, but SRSLY, you and I are going to have to have a TALK. I was SERIOUSLY tempted to just LET THINGS LIE where you left them this time, because of OTHER THINGS happening on my end, but... well, I'll give you the deets in a bit.

...

So after our BIG ADVENTURE in the woods, Noah and I came back with Jo and Ethan and were kinda nonplussed to find 1) that NO ONE actually realized we'd been missing at all and 2) there was a "Casting Party" going in full swing with all the matches... well, the women and Tristan... in NSFW lingerie, and speakers BLASTING OUT R&B MUSIC that WE DON'T HAVE THE RIGHTS TO PLAY ON THE SHOW at the top of their volume capacity while the whole thing had DEGENERATED into YET ANOTHER RAVE. Lovingly recorded by ALL the cameras.

YOU were nowhere to be found, VINCE was being tied up in a magenta feather boa by a leather-clad Lynette, and Marley decided that she was going to play baby Nazi again and reinforce the "joined at the hip" rule about Noah and me.

I swayed, uncertainly, watching the CHAOS IN PROGRESS -- was that Russell and Finn swinging drunkenly at each other in a fistfight, in the back? -- and then Noah caught me from behind, wrapping his arms around my waist. "It'll wait, Lindzi," he said. "Let's get you back to the room. You're dead on your feet."

I took a breath, almost ready to argue with him, and then realized that he was right. I didn't have the reserves to deal with this, not now. SRSLY, he practically CARRIED me down the hallway into our room after that, and I sort of collapsed onto the bed in fetal position, not even caring about the dried mud and leaf litter on my clothes getting on the pristine hotel linens. But I only let myself stay there for like a second, before sitting up and trying to think through the things I needed to do.

Noah was already shedding layers of clothes as he angled for the shower, of course not bothering with closing the door to the bathroom -- normally I would have been TOTES EMBARRASSED but I was so tired, and after the past three days, it just didn't seem as WEIRD as it did before that, so I just kinda tried not to stare and turned back to the bags that the crew had brought in before us. Now where had I left my phone? I needed to charge it, to see what on earth had been happening while we were on our MANDATORY CAMPING TRIP.

I woke as a hand gently shook my shoulder, and turned my head kinda confused. Noah, standing there in a towel, steam gently lifting off his skin, backlit by the bathroom light behind him.

"Sorry, hon," he murmured, "I'd like to let you sleep, but you've got mud crusted in your hair and I think you'll get a crick in your neck if you keep sleeping like that all night."

Somehow I'd fallen asleep as I was rifling through my camping backpack for my phone, with my head pillowed against the elbow of the arm that was still reaching down into the bag.

I shook my head, then shook out my arm -- it was asleep -- and tried to smile at him. "You're absolutely right," I said, my voice coming in kinda creaky with exhaustion. I pushed myself up and made my way for the bathroom, where clouds of steam were still coming from the blessedly-already-running shower...

I woke up enough in the shower to realize that I hadn't closed the door, either, and that I hadn't brought in anything else to wear, but was tired enough still to just NOT CARE. Just getting the MUD out of my hair was treat enough. And the hot water washed a lot of the creaky, painful stiffness from my limbs and back, which was a HUGE BONUS.

And you know, by the time I'd turned off the water and looked out from behind the shower door, I saw that someone had actually LAID OUT CLEAN PAJAMAS FOR ME and closed the door behind him. Which was sweet, although I suspected it might have as much to do with wanting to sleep as with being thoughtful. Didn't make it NOT thoughtful, though!