Larry Stylinson ~ Poor Little Rich Boy AU

14.

Louis nodded mutely, but Harry was still entranced by the picture he was painting, more for himself than anybody else. He almost seemed to have forgotten that Louis was there; almost dreamily, he was talking mostly to himself.

“Just being able to look down on all of it, and no matter how far you look, you can never seeeverything…there’s always something that escapes your notice, something you didn’t see… it makes me feel so small.”

Standing beside him, Louis slipped an arm around his waist and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. “I never really thought about it like that. That’s quite sad.”

Harry came slightly out of his reverie; he turned to look at Louis in surprise. “No, I like it. The world is so huge, and there’s so many people in it…there’s so much more than just me, and you. So many more things for people to focus their attention on…why would they ever want to look at me? They won’t notice me. And that makes me feel a little bit better. You know I don’t like being seen – looking at all of that, and knowing how no one will ever see me, it makes me feel kind of…kind of safe. I know there’s only one person who actually looks at me and sees someone, only one person who really knows who I am. Only one person who wants to know, who I want to know.” He nuzzled the top of Louis’ head with his nose. “He’s right here with me, standing right by my side.”

It made Louis feel a little solemn to realize that Harry had just told one of his most innermost thoughts to him, especially as Harry was a really private person anyway. He gave him a tiny little squeeze, and Harry snuggled a little more closely against him, away from the cold bite of the wind. He felt like he ought to impart some deep, dark secret of his own in return, but none would spring to mind – except for the secret terror of being a slut, and somehow he didn’t think that was really appropriate for the situation. He stayed silent instead.

The lack of words was peaceful, drifting between them, and Louis felt like he could get used to this – standing with Harry, not saying anything, just enjoying his company and the way he smelled and felt and the way his hair tickled Louis’ cheek, but he had to stand on his tiptoes first to keep them on the same level. He liked that far more than he should.

“Louis?”

“Yeah.”

“I want to tell you something…”

“Okay.”

But Harry’s eyes were a little too serious, his expression a little too solemn, and Louis knew that he was going to say something which couldn’t easily be taken back and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear it. In fact, he had a pretty good idea of what Harry was about to say to him, and he didn’t want to hear the words leave his mouth – not like this. Not on top of a building, where the wind could so easily snatch the precious words away and ruin the first time they were said forever. Not when he was a little bit afraid that he might feel the same way, and he was frightened to think of what it might mean, and that he’d have to face up to it if he let Harry say it.

So he lunged forwards and glued his lips firmly to Harry’s, holding his waist, keeping him silent. Harry’s eyes flew open in surprise, and he gave a strangled noise as Louis kissed him, smiling into the kiss, enjoying the embrace. His eyes dropped closed again, and Harry moved with it, swaying in Louis’ arms, their bodies pressed together, forgetting the words he’d been about to say, to Louis’ relief. As long as the words stayed locked inside, he felt safe. And now that he’d interrupted, it would take Harry a long time to work up the courage to even think about saying them again. For now, he was safe. Until Harry remembered and decided to bring up those three terrifying little words again.

~*~

He decided they’d discuss it over dinner.

They’d settled down in a discreet table in the corner, and Harry was mischievously waving his stepdad’s apparently limitless credit card underneath the waiter’s nose whilst Louis rummaged in his wallet for the little slip of paper which confirmed that he had an all-expenses paid transaction in place. Between them, they would be able to fulfill their challenge: to sample one of everything on the menu.