Ignore Me if You See Me

Reasons Why Gabe's a Fail

Did you know that it's a bad idea to wear white when you get beat up? My mom didn't know that before she sent me to school in a white shirt, now instead of being a  clean, white shirt it's a white shirt with blood staining the front and mud covering the back.
That mess brings me to my current situation of sitting atop the dryer while my mom tries to scrub out the blood and mud, I would also say self destructive tendencies but I don't think she can scrub that away.

"Maria, I'm home. Where are you?"

That would be my dad. He always calls out to my mom when he leaves and when he comes back, I don't know why but my grandma said it was because he once tried to sneak in with another pet (why do we need more pets though? Seriously, we have two dogs and three cats as well as five fish that don't do much but judge me with their eyes.) after a late shift and my mom thought someone was sneaking in and she threw a hardcover book at him. They kept the dog.

"We're in the laundry room, Ken." My mom yelled back.

"Hi sweetheart. What's Gabe doing home? He's supposed to be in school." My dad said he entered the room and kissed my mom on the cheek.

"Im skipping school, dad. That's why I'm sitting on the dryer with out a shirt and mom's cleaning the not-so-white-anymore white shirt." I said.

"He got punched on the face and fell into the mud so I went to go pick up my baby." My mom said as she threw the shirt in the washing machine and turned it on.

"Who was it this time Gabe?" My dad never liked it when I came home beat up or when I got bullied but he knew that I didn't want him to get involved, he didn't want another 'David' incident happening.

"It was Jeremy this time. He thought that just because I'm gay, I wanted to date him, which I don't because he smells like ketchup and he doesn't like chocolate." Jeremy was a grade-A prick.

I was thankful that today was Friday, I don't think I could last another day that hell hole with out help.

Just as my mind began to fade into a dark, dreamless sleep I realized that I had therapy the next day; fuck my life.

There are only two things I've ever really hated, okay that's a lie but shush, I hated tomatoes and going to therapy at seven in the fucking morning. One of those is happening and it's not tomatoes.

Therapy went by like it usually did, Ms.Andrews telling the group about her dead cat who ate her golden  rose bush and Cynthia crying about how women had too many rights and how America went down the drain the moment it gave people freedom of religion.

Thankfully today we had Mr.Axel, who could careless about us and made us write in our journals for the remaining fifteen minutes.

A while back I had made a list of reasons why I was a failure that was so creatively named 'Reasons Why Gabe's a Fail', so far the list had twenty entries. At the top being the fact that I can't fight worth shit followed by me like some Nickleback songs.

In wrote entry twenty-one today and it read 'I can't stand up to people'.
 
Mom always asked how therapy was and I was responded with 'fine', don't get me wrong I loved my mom but I already troubled her enough by being so fucked up I need therapy, so I decided that telling her therapy was fine was my way of saying 'don't worry about it mom, I'll try to get better'.

I spent the rest of the day watching random reality shows to try to numb my brain from everything that had happen.

Just before I was lulled to sleep by the screaming of someone fighting on Jersey Shore, I mentally added one more thing to my list making it a list of twenty two entries.

22. I can't deal with anything in a normal way.