The Wallflower's Guide to Surviving High School

Chapter 1

Wallflower. All I can ever think about is this stupid word. I just wish we didn't have these labels to define us. The definition of a wallflower is: someone who stays on the sidelines of activities and tends to be on the introverted side. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't always like this. To be completely honest I used to be the life of the party. Every friend I had would try and sit by me at lunch, try to make plans for every weekend, and even go places I went because it was suddenly "cool." It's just not like that anymore. If someone were to tell me a year ago I'd be like this I'd probably laugh in their face. Kind of sad that I can't do that anymore.
My mom always is the one to interrupt my thoughts. She always tries to remind me to take my medicine. If she doesn't, bad things will happen. I moved from Chicago, IL, to Peoria, IL. We moved here about two months ago because of what happened at my old school. As of right now though I really don't want to talk about it. Since then I have had to go to a psychiatrist, get medicine, talk to a personal counselor every 3 days, and talk to the guidance counselor at school every other day. Anyways my counselor wants me to write in you, my journal, for obvious reasons. She says since I don't have friends to confide in or trust yet, this would be best. She also says that I should start trying to get better. Except I'm still not sure if I will ever trust or get better again. But since we've moved here my mom tries to "better us" and "not let something like that happen again." I'm not really sure I believe her, but hey like I said: trying. So far still don't have any friends here. I also don't go outside that often, either. One step at a time I guess but I'm still a little unsure of getting friends just yet. Next week is the first day of school at the new school. I get too nervous every time I think of it. I always need to stop thinking. I think too much and then I get worse. I never know how much I can take until I take it on. I wish I was happy again. I wish I could go back to the summer before eighth grade, before dad left. This is enough for today. I guess I tried and made it too thought provoking.
-Attempt to getting better number one