HUMAN

Chapter SEVEN

The lunch was filled with tons of stupid questions that seemed so important to Colin that he ask them. I even caught myself smiling on multiple occasions. I wasn't supposed to let him in, I wasn't suppose to be happy.

"Where to next Kitty?" He grinned as my mouth dropped open.

"Kitty?" I asked getting into his car. I've had the nickname before and I forced everyone to stop using it after I turned eleven. But Colin saying it gave me odd butterflies in my stomach.

"Yeah, your new nickname is Kitty Kat." He grinned proudly, "So where to?"

"The bookstore." I told him and he shook his head muttering something under his breath as he plastered a grin on his face.

As we walked into the bookstore I got lost. Colin seemed to wander off and I didn't seem to mind, I had the books to browse. Nearly two hours later, that didn't really feel like two hours, Colin was back at my side. He watched as I picked up a book and read the back cover before placing it back on the shelve. After I did it at least five times he laughed, "What book are you looking for?"

"I'm not sure." I shrugged picking up another book and doing the same thing. Colin stood by my side watching patiently as I finally picked my three selections.

Checking out I could feel Colin watching me from the door and I hid my face. He was starting to scare me with the feelings I was began to develop. I felt...safe.

It was Five when we got back to my house, Colin helping bring the bags inside. He could carry a lot more than I could so we only made one trip up to my room. "Thank you for helping me today." I told him when he let out a breath and sunk into the computer chair.

"It wasn't bad at all." He smiled, "Even when we spent hours in the bookstore."

"I get lost in them sometimes. I'm sorry." I blushed taking out the things from the bag so I could pack it in neat piles when I decided to start packing, probably tonight.

Colin let out a laughed, "I noticed Kitty, I told you. I didn't mind."

I walked to the closet and pulled out the luggage so I could hide my face from him and try to settle my racing heart.

"Are you going to pack now?" He asked getting up and moving to my side as I lifted the luggage onto my bed.

Nodding I took out the clothes that I've already pre-selected which were packed in neat piles on my dresser and I placed them into the suitcase. Colin watched me and laughed teasingly. "That was the fasted I've ever seen anyone pack."

"Thanks." I gave him a smile before I caught myself and looked to the new things before placing them into the suitcase as well.

"Kat!" I heard my name being called from downstairs, the door slamming behind them.

I let out a sigh and called back, "I'm up here!" But it wasn't nearly as loud as a yell. They could hear me anyway. Hannah ran into my room and stopped up short when she saw Colin back in my chair.

"Colin?" She asked, her voice unsure, "I've been calling you non stop."

"I'm sorry." Colin told her reaching into his pocket for his phone. He frowned at all the messages my sister no doubt had left him before he looked up to me. "I didn't know that you didn't tell them."

"Huh?" I asked turning to Hannah who had her eyes narrowed.

"We've been looking for you all day!" She nearly shrieked. "Kat, we've been so worried about you! After the whole Shane thing we thought that you.." I flinched when she said his name and that didn't go unnoticed, they both sent worried eyes my way. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Shaking my head I cleared my throat, "It's fine Hannah, I understand." My voice cracked as my facade was waning. "I'll remember next time, tell the others that I'm okay. Please." Near the end my voice nearly inaudible and Hannah nodded quickly, pulling out her phone. She stepped into the hall to make her calls and Colin stood up, coming to my side.

"Kat." He whispered, placing his hand under my chin and my skin burned where his fingers lingered. His eyes searched my tear filled ones for a moment before he had me wrapped in his arms. Warm. Tight. Safe.

Tommy had the guys over later that night which meant that Colin was downstairs with them. It was weird to spend the whole day with him but miss him when he wasn't here. I've never had this feeling before and it scared me.

"Kat?" Hannah came into my room and sat on my bed. I put my book down and watched her but her face was expressionless. "I love you." She muttered and I saw tears forming her hazel eyes.

"I love you too." I told her carefully, my eyebrows pulling together as I watched her.

"I'm sorry I brought up..him." She hesitated as she watched me. I tried to keep my face impassive but the attempt was futile. "I know I shouldn't have, I was just so, so worried about you. You haven't been the same since."

Nodding to show my sister I understood she took a deep breath and started again. "I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me. Okay?" I nodded again, "Do you like Colin?"

My mind started racing, if I answered truthfully it will crush her but if I don't it I could possible crush me.. If she's asking this question does she already know the answer and just wants to hear me say it? Or does she just want to make sure that I'm not trying to wiggle my way between them.

She notices my hesitation and she smiles, "It's okay, Kat. I think he likes you more than he ever liked me. If he ever liked me."  My face went scarlet as she told me this but I had to tell her how I feel.

"I do like him." I told her softly, "But I'm never going to get better Hannah. I'm going to be this sleep deprived, annoyingly intelligent, no good at opening up to people for the rest of my life. I'm scared of everyone and terrified to  be alone. I'm screw up and I'm not going to get better, I'm just not." I shook my head, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes.

"I think I would have really like him, if we'd met before all this happened." I tried agin. "But I can't open up to him, Hannah. It's no use asking if I like him or not, I'm not going to pursue anything with him. I'm not ready and I don't think I ever will be."

Hannah's eyes were as misty as mine as she stares at me. She leaned forward and wraps her arms around me in a hug. My second hug today. "You're so strong Kat. Please don't say you're not going to get better, you will. It'll just take sometime. I promise." She pleads with me.

She left me alone with a promise not to hang out with Colin anymore. I've hurt her, I know I have. I shouldn't have told her anything. I hid under the covers and before I could stop myself, I was asleep.