Random Writing

Outlaw.

OutLaw.

She sighed as she walked on the same road that she has been wondering around for years -already? It doesn't really feel like it's been years since she last walked here. She hasn't crossed this path since- since the miracle, miracle? Can she call it a miracle? Most of people would call it so, however, for her it was nothing but another round of misfortunes.

June kept walking until she reached an isolated building, a place which used to be alive, a place that she used to visit daily when he was there, a place that she spent years dreaming about, months of missing, a place that she stayed at when she knew there were no other way for her, but looking back at it, was it really worth it? Was it really worth to waste her life wondering and missing? Was it really worth it for her to love but never feel loved?

Will they really miss her back?

She knew that one day she would regret it all, but she'd hoped to have something around keeping her away from her bad memories, keeping her away from her wrong decisions, but she never knew that those decisions would ruin her life, would have the thing she wanted to protect, taken away from her- far away that she would never find it ever again.

Seven billion red blooded humans wandering around this oval shaped earth, and yet, there would be only one person who would manage into making you happy, that's what she believed, and that's how she abdomened herself once she thought she found this person, but she was wrong, she was wrong for spending years crying and more missing, she was wrong for leaving her family chasing a magnificent of her imagination.

She would always remember how her father died hating her, how her mother lived wishing she was never born, how her siblings had a family and left her alone, she would always regret these days she forgot to pray, she would always remember how her religious friend would remind her of their celebrations, traditions and culture, and she would just wave her away.

And she regretted it, regretted every single moment she wasted, regretted how she never did a change in anybody's life, regretted how she kept building imaginary castles up the clouds, so high that she would never reach them, she would regret it all, and living with all her regrets, it did hurt.

She patted a miserable stone, next to the building, as she sat down, looking at the rose between her finger, staring at how dead it looked.

This place ,this place used to be alive, this place used to have a real sunlight,  a beam of happiness, a row of chuckles, this place is where she first met him, this place is where she last saw him, this place is where she used to grow the roses her sister loved dearly, and smile at it when she used it for decorating their dinning at home.

And, now?

Now, it's just some broken ruins, stones and sand, maybe in the future they would use it as a graveyard? Or maybe, build a mall. Either ways, they're gonna bury all the memories they made, they're gonna bury the memories she spent her life making, burying them all, leaving nothing but aches, and maybe, another individual would sit there in the future, planing how to build the house of their dream.

But, nobody would care about her memories, nobody would care about how her own life was miserable, why would they care anyways? It wasn't like she was a member of their family, not like she was even a member of their society, she was afraid of being forgotten, she was afraid of being called a loser, and yet, she called them losers, she called those that she knew they're way better than her.

At least, they have a family.

June wrapped her arms around her chest, and looked up the sky, holding back her tears, and she hoped does he really hate her? She never prayed, never asked for forgiveness, but does he really?

She will never know, and never did.

These humans hated her, the one she loved hated her, the friend she made left her.

She's a loner, an old loner, a forty year old living alone waiting for nothing but for her hair to turn white.

She's really going to be forgotten,  after all.

She smiled sadly through her tears, and she hugged herself tighter.

An outlaw.