Its all acting

Be true be free

So it all begins when you're around 6 years old, The word and your parents start to slowly prepare you for your first ever role. Cus until now you have just been a blank piece of canvas, you were just a baby not good not bad, just blank, but now it's time to prepare for your first ever role as a child.

Oh look its your first mask, go on and put it on, Oh, how amazing is this? You don't have to be yourself, you can put a mask on and be whoever you wish to be, like whatever you want to look and act how you want to act, there is no need for you to be yourself. How amazing is that What a huge weight lifted.

You practice and practice all through elementary school to be anyone but yourself, cause you're one of the boys who don't like blue you like pink and you don't like trucks and cars you love dolls, but you could never say that, who in their right mind would chose to be themselves at such a young age or any age?

 Go ahead and lie, say you love blue and that you love playing with cars and robots and other boy toys. Oh good they all believe you now, but wait, all the other boys in your school have gotten in their first fist fight and they are all picking on other people for their insecurities. You need to do that, they can't know this is all acting you need to do the same, oh look there is a girl she seems a bit bigger than the rest and she seems sad, go ahead pick at her but make sure everyone hears it so that you become one of the boys.

Around this time you start to be confused, but that's okay, you have a lot of older brothers and cousins you can look up to, but they don't wanna help you they pick on you too, and call you names, so school is not safe home is not safe, but that's okay, just smile and smile and keep smiling, don't be a scared little boy who cries, no no crying is for girls. Come on pull thru, this role is almost over.

Okay your 12 now and your first roll is finished, Quick they are calling you for your new role now so put 10 extra masks on top of the one you have now, cause the child sized one isn't enough anymore. people's vision for flaws has gotten better at this age so you need to be a better liar and a better actor, oh don't worry, no need to be a better person who has time for that?Okay, time for the role of a bisexual, confused and a little bit mentally deranged boy. This role will last from 12 up until you realise that all this bullshit and masks and lies and acting isn't necessary but why would you want to realise that? It's so hard being good and honest and true, just be fake and lie its so much easier.Peoples vision has gotten better and better, more than you expected, they can see thru you a little bit  now they are picking at you, calling you a fag, beating you up and giving you dirty looks. That's okay, just escape from it all by creating an alternative world for yourself.

So now you're starting to have needs, but not needs like the other boys, you have no one to ask about it Cus your needs are weird you don't think of girls you think about boys. That's gross you think to yourself, why? Well  you don't see two guys on Tv kissing eachother and having a happy ending do you? You see a boy and a girl and thats the right way to go, this will all pass you tell yourself.

 Well, this role has been going on for a while your 15 now, those feelings haven't stopped, it doesn't seem like a phase it doesn't feel like one either, but the grownups on the internet say it is so it must be true. Thru these few years the bullying and name calling has gotten worse but you made some great friends along the way and lost a few, you have also developed the ability to lie to yourself and not just to others and you also have split personalities and no self-esteem, but no one knows that and that's the important part. You start to label yourself with a lot of things and you start to lie more and more to yourself and your friends and family, but you feel no guilt cause you believe your own lies and you don't need anyone to tell you its not wrong cause you can say that to yourself cause at this point you have so many fake personalities inside your head that self conviction isn't a problem anymore.