Blue Fire. A Gabriel Brown Alaskan Bush People story.

Chapter 3

Sitting at the large wooden table in the main cabin of Browntown, your hands were twisted tightly together in your lap. Your forced smile traveled from one friendly face to the other and your mind whirled with fear. All these people were in danger and it was all your fault. What could you have been thinking letting Gabriel bring you around his family?

"More stew?" Gabriel's brother Joshua leaned close and you shook your head, no.

"Bam made it himself. He's a really good cook." The youngest sibling, Rainy, piped up.

"I'm good. Thanks." Your voice was louder now that your throat was healing.

"I think it's time you get some rest. Don't you think?" Gabriel turned his blue eyes on you and you nodded gratefully.

The trip from Juneau to Hoonah had been long and tiring. But the boat ride from Hoonah to the island was too short. The wide expanse of water and the snowcapped trees on the horizon were so beautiful it took your words away. You were speechless with the beauty and the calmness of the water. Gabriel rarely took his eyes off of you and it was clear he was attracted to you. There wasn't anything you could do about that except keep him at a distance. You would stay only until Brady was in jail for good and then you would have to go. So you didn't want him to get any closer to you.

But now, sliding away from the dinner table, Gabriel's hand reached out to pull you to your feet. His large hand was soft and warm and your fingers were completely enveloped in his. He was a sweet man and you had come to trust him a little over the last couple of days before you were released from the hospital. A little. He hadn't tried to touch you in any way other than help you up or steady you on your feet those first hours you were out of bed. Now, though, it was your first night in Brown Town and you swallowed hard, wondering if he was as genuine as you thought he was or if he truly did have another motive for bringing you here.

Grabbing up your small bag containing the few clothes you had brought with you when you ran from Brady's house, you looked Gabriel in the eye and asked your question.

"Where am I sleeping tonight?"

"I thought you could sleep in my cabin with me. I can watch you better there and make sure no one bothers you." He smiled and took your bag from your hand and turned to walk toward the door.

You stifled the sigh that welled from deep inside and you forced yourself not to show any emotion on your face. He was just like all the other men you had known. He was ready now for you to prove how grateful you were to him and thank him for saving your life. It struck you as very odd that no one in his family challenged him on taking you to his place for the night. Apparently they were intimidated by him and too afraid to say anything at all.

It was just your luck, you thought. For a while there, you had been fooled by Gabriel's seeming innocence. But now that you were stuck on this island with him, you had to do what it took to keep him happy until you could escape into the dense woods of the island. And as soon as you were away from his family, they would be safe again. You determined to make a plan to slip away as soon as you could. But tonight? Tonight you had a debt to pay.

Gabriel deposited you in his small float house and left to gather more wood for the fire. With your back to the door, you took in a deep breath and let it out silently. Unbuttoning your blouse, you slipped your arms through and folded the shirt neatly, laying it on the wooden chair beside the bed. Your bra came off next, why waste any time? You kept your eyes closed as you unsnapped your jeans and stood to push them down. Your hands hesitated on the waistband of your panties.

Turning your thoughts back to the nightmare that sex with Brady had become, you drew on that experience and shut your mind down and thought of nothing. Your thoughts closed in on themselves until there was nothing in your mind at all. No anger, no shame, nothing but a blackness that was as cold as the night. When your heart was as hard as a stone, you were ready. Pushing down your panties, you added them to the pile of clothing and slipped naked into the warm, soft bed.

Gabriel slammed through the door, his arms full, and you jumped, startled at the sudden noise.

"Oh. Wow. Sorry." He took one look at your exposed shoulders and arms and he backed up quickly, slamming hard into the door jamb.

"What?" You shook your head and frowned, completely confused. "I thought you wanted..."

Your words trailed off at the shocked look on his face and you realized you had been completely wrong about Gabriel.

"I...I thought..." You stammered and pulled both your arms under the covers and tugged the blanket up to your neck.

Your eyes widened as the fire flashed into Gabriel's blue eyes and you pressed yourself deeper onto the mattress. You didn't know what to say or do and the anger in his eyes was back but it was different this time.

"That's not what I wanted from you." His words were clipped and you watched in amazement as light tears came to his eyes. "I can't believe you thought that."

Gabriel tossed down the armload of wood he had been carrying and slammed out the door into the night. The stillness in the cabin mocked you as you replayed his words over and over in your mind.
That's not what I wanted from you.

"I am such an idiot." You whispered under your breath.

Sliding from the bed, you dressed quickly and ventured out, hoping you wouldn't have to go far to find Gabriel. Thankfully, he was sitting on the ground just outside the cabin, his rifle cradled in his arms and his face set and staring straight ahead.

"I am so sorry, Gabriel." You rested a hand on his shoulder and were relieved that he didn't pull away from you.

"I'm sorry too." He mumbled but didn't look up at you. "If I had known that's what you thought, I would have had you stay in the main cabin with my sisters."

"Come inside. Let's talk." You pleaded and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt. "You must be freezing out here."

Gabriel followed you inside the warm cabin and once again stood with his back to the closed door.

"You don't know me, Gabriel. You don't know what I've been through." 
Mistrust was your middle name and it had been well earned.

"No. I don't know you and you don't really know me." He didn't move any closer. "But I was hoping you would trust me a tiny bit."

"I'm trying. I really am. But it's hard for me."

"I promise I won't hurt you and I won't let anyone else hurt you either." His voice had softened as he spoke until it was barely a whisper.

You pressed your lips together and forced your mind and your heart to crack open wide enough to let a sliver of trust in. It felt like a trapped bird fluttering in your chest but you let it stay. You wanted to trust him so you concentrated on breathing in and out until the anxious feeling subsided.

"Come on." You gestured toward the bed. "I warmed it up for us."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and looked from you to the bed then back again.

"I trust you not to ravish me while I sleep." You laughed as you said the words.

But Gabriel shook his head and dropped his eyes. What was going on with him? You took a couple of steps toward him just in time to hear him say,

"You may trust me there." He nodded his head toward the bed. "But I'm not sure I trust myself. I'll sleep on the floor."